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Keyword: illegaltrespassing

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  • WHCD Shooter Demands Freedom [semi-satire]

    05/07/2026 10:53:53 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 May 2026 | John Semmens
    Cole Allen, the man being held for an armed incursion into the White House Correspondents' Dinner, is demanding that he be released without bail, saying "I didn't shoot or hurt anyone. I know I wrote a manifesto saying that I wanted to shoot President Trump, but I didn't actually do it. At the last moment, as I was lying on the floor in handcuffs, I decided not to. All I might be guilty of is illegal trespassing or disorderly conduct. I represent no danger to the public." Former President Obama was impressed by Allen's logic, saying "his reasoning sounds both...