Free Republic

Washington—As debate rages on in both the House of Representatives and U.S. Senate as to who the biggest whore in Congress is, Senator John McCain, R-AZ, went on Fox News Sunday to argue his case that Ben Nelson was by far the biggest whore. McCain went on to say that anyone who let himself be used by Senator Reid so easily was hands down the biggest slut he’d ever seen. “What this man did,” claimed McCain on Fox News Sunday, “was to demonstrate how big a harlot he was on a public stage. At least Senator Landrieu went out behind...

Representative Alan Grayson (D-Fla) has filed a complaint with U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder demanding that a pesky critic of his be prosecuted. The critic is one Angie Langley—originator of a web site called “mycongressmanisnuts.com.” “It’s a sad day for America when a nobody like Ms. Langley can harass a member of congress with impunity,” Grayson complained. “People should be taught respect for those of us who govern them. We shouldn’t have to endure the kind of round-the-clock mockery being dished out by the people who live under us.” The basis for Grayson’s contention that Langley ought to go to...

Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Nipplitaliano, denied rumors that Major Nidal Hasan was working undercover for her agency when he went on his shooting spree at Fort Hood in Texas two weeks ago. “Yes, it’s true that Major Hasan participated in a presidential transition task force last year,” Nipplitaliano admitted. “But I am disavowing all knowledge of his actions regarding the shootings at Fort Hood.” Nipplitaliano suggested that “Hasan may have misinterpreted our warning about the dangers of gun-toting military veterans and taken it upon himself to act unilaterally to try to reduce this threat by culling potential recruits to...

Hi, kids. My name is Barack Obama and I'm the President of the United States. I'm sure you all know what that means. It means you have to do whatever I tell you because if you don't, I can take away your mommy and daddy and you'll never see them again. So listen real carefully, OK? I know a lot of you haven't been paying much attention to the argument we grown-ups are having about health-care reform. That's all right. It's really complicated stuff. Most of your parents have no idea what it's all about either. All you really need...

In a bold and surprising move, the Holy See today announced that His Excellency Bernard Fellay, General Superior of the Society of St. Pius X, has been named as the new Archbishop of Saint Louis. This appointment was accompanied by a decree from the Congregation for Bishops that provides immediate temporary jurisdiction for SSPX priests and bishops worldwide. This temporary jurisdiction involves the elevation of the SSPX to a personal prelature, but this structure is only granted for 2 years, subject to review. (The link to the Holy See's announcement is down, I guess due to traffic, but I...