Administration Demonstrates Resolve to Counter Major Threat (Nipplitaliano Denies Rumors)

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 21 November 2009 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Nipplitaliano, denied rumors that Major Nidal Hasan was working undercover for her agency when he went on his shooting spree at Fort Hood in Texas two weeks ago.

“Yes, it’s true that Major Hasan participated in a presidential transition task force last year,” Nipplitaliano admitted. “But I am disavowing all knowledge of his actions regarding the shootings at Fort Hood.”

Nipplitaliano suggested that “Hasan may have misinterpreted our warning about the dangers of gun-toting military veterans and taken it upon himself to act unilaterally to try to reduce this threat by culling potential recruits to right wing terror organizations in this country.”

[John Semmens]

As you requested.

[EggsAckley]

“Nipplitaliano”

Mr. S, you are a baaaad boy.

Heheheh

[Drawsing]

Nipplitaliano suggested that “Hasan may have misinterpreted our warning about the dangers of gun-toting military veterans and taken it upon himself to act unilaterally to try to reduce this threat by culling potential recruits to right wing terror organizations in this country.”

A statement from a three-headed, retarded refugee from the distant planet of Moronia would have made more sense than this one.

[Drawsing]

Oh wait...now I see that this is satire. It is getting harder to tell these days.

[Navy Patriot]

Janet Nipplitaliano claims that she instructed Hasan in “treatment termination of all Army war criminals”, but in her limited Arabic, unknowingly left out the word “treatment”.

[Batman11]

“Nipplitaliano”

Bahahaha! Now that is funny!

[John Semmens]

Is this what you had in mind?

[sodpoodle]

Yes you daring debbil!!! LOL!!!!