WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congress today approved legislation granting statehood to the "huge ass" of Jennifer Lopez, celebrated Latina movie and pop star. The new state, to be called Buena Booty, will have 3 electoral votes and will hold its first elections on the same day as the Grammy Awards are shown on TV. Ben Affleck, widely considered to be the front-runner for the governorship of Buena Booty in 2003, was completely clueless as to the policies he will pursue if elected to office. "Hey, remember, I was the dumb one in Good Will Hunting," he reminded reporters.