Y’know. Just robbing a Dairy Queen with a sword. As one does. A robbery at a Port Huron, Michigan Dairy Queen has police searching for a robber armed with f----g Longclaw. Police say the man ordered a Blizzard, then as soon as the counterperson opened the cash register, he pulled out a “sword or machete,†grabbed the cash, and ran. OK, important question here: how exactly does one hide a sword? A sword tends to occupy a sizable area, not to mention immediately drawing one’s attention to its presence, because it’s a f----g sword. Was the nameless suburban ronin actually...