HOUSTON, TX—After contractors discovered hundreds of envelopes full of cash in the walls of Lakewood church, Lakewood's head pastor Joel Osteen has volunteered his services for a much-needed church remodel. "IT'S DEMOOOOOO DAAAAAY!" he sang out as he walked into a nearby restroom and began smashing holes in the walls. "Oh, how I love demo day!!!" He swung his sledgehammer into the tile and drywall, causing piles of money to cascade out of the walls. "I'm claiming God's bountiful financial blessings for my life!" he said between swings. "Weeeeeeeeeeee!" Investigators say hundreds of thousands of dollars were found, possibly linked...
