WASHINGTON, D.C.—Sources are reporting that Trump has dealt a killer blow in his ongoing war against his sworn enemy, the U.S. Post Office. In a move of sheer, mind-blowing brilliance, Trump directed the Post Office to put his face on every single stamp, forcing the Democrats to reverse course and abolish the institution once and for all. The new stamp, dubbed "The Trump-Stamp," to be used on all pieces of mail features a smiling Donald Trump, with the caption "GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER." Don Lemon broke the news in a tearful address to the nation last night. "Our democracy is over,"...