Free Republic

U.S. — In response to increasing displays of antisemitism across the country and around the world, authorities have advised Jewish people to protect themselves from violent attacks by no longer being Jewish. "It's a simple solution," said historic White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is gay and black. "We have seen a sharp rise in antisemitic behavior, so our best advice to Jewish people in fear for their lives is to stop doing Jewy things and consider not being Jewish altogether." As hostilities continue in Gaza between Israeli forces and the terrorist organization Hamas, troubling incidents in multiple cities...

MIAMI, FL — An NFL game almost became watchable today, but was saved at the last moment by veteran referee John Ross. "Not on my watch," said Ross as he strode to midfield with his fellow referees, aimlessly launching a flag. "Now let's stand here and make hand gestures to each other for a couple minutes until all the momentum and excitement has left the building." Before the incident, the game between the Dolphins and Patriots had been going along as usual, with inane penalties and countless delays sucking all the life out the atmosphere. "Somehow, right in the middle...

LOS ANGELES, CA — As emergency crews continued to investigate the cause of the fire that damaged the 10 freeway in downtown L.A., a new report indicates the blaze occurred as the result of a plan created by Governor Gavin Newsom to burn all of the state's major freeways so no more California residents can move out of the state. "It's a diabolical, but brilliant scheme," said sociologist Dr. Blake Rumsey. "If there are no useable roads, nobody can leave California, and the state will stop hemorrhaging its population. Newsom hatched quite a little plan here, it seems. After all,...

ROCKFORD, IL — After tragedy struck a local family last night, local dad Jordan Duckworth bore the unenviable task of notifying his children that a burglar had broken into their home and stolen all of the Reese's peanut butter cups they had received while trick-or-treating. "I'm sorry, kids. Our house was robbed last night," Mr. Duckworth said sadly after gathering his kids in the kitchen this morning. "Fortunately, the thief didn't take your mother's jewelry, our television, or the bar of pure gold we keep on the coffee table for some reason. Kids, I'm afraid he only took…your Reese's peanut...

Traditional bullets lose their deadly momentum within mere feet when submerged, rendering water a safe haven from gunfire. However, this paradigm is on the brink of an epic shift, thanks to an innovative breakthrough by Norway's DSG. Harnessing the enigmatic powers of supercavitation, DSG has engineered a projectile that defies the constraints of underwater physics. The CAV-X bullet, with its unique design, breaks through the watery barrier that has long shielded those seeking refuge beneath the surface, striking targets up to 200 feet away, and opening up the possibility for a new breed of underwater soldiers…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — New York Congressman Jamaal Bowman again found himself trying to explain away an awkward situation today, as he apparently once again pulled the Capitol fire alarm whilst attempting to flush a urinal. "Oh my, is that what that does? I thought it was for the urinal," Bowman reportedly said when questioned by the Capitol Police. "I was just trying to get rid of my waste. Shaking hands with an old friend, you know? I thought pulling that lever would evacuate my urine from the receptacle. My mistake!" Republican members of Congress and skeptical American citizens expressed doubt...

The game is up, groomer. The party is over.

"In some parts of Britain the arrest rate for offensive speech has risen by 900%. The Times reported that British police are arresting up to nine people a day. Law enforcement is encouraging people to report non-crime incidents and here I was thinking that New York had a rat problem. Which is why on my tour I will attempting the death-defying stunt of performing the most offensive setlist of all time! I will be doing all of this while smoking cigarettes onstage, wearing a leather jacket with a patch on it that says OFFEND, and asking the audience of it...

Chaya Raichik, the creator behind the Twitter account Libs of TikTok, had been anonymous until she was doxed by Taylor Lorenz.But Lorenz’s attempts to silence Raichik backfired spectacularly and Libs of TikTok has grown to over 2.5 million on X.Raichik’s page chronicles radical leftists by reposting videos that Liberals publish themselves on social media, often chronicling public school teachers indoctrination of children to a radical leftist agenda.In an interview with Tucker Carlson, Raichik promised to become even more involved in s fighting the culture war against the types of leftists she regularly exposes with her account.Recently, a parent in Cherry...

Roughly $100 million dollars worth of duct tape is bought annually, more than enough to stretch to the moon, or circle the earth at the equator 12 times.

Close Call at Cincinnati(CVG).

How in the world does this happen?! How do you let a rifle get so completely damaged like this? Did it get run over by a car or a tank? whatever happened, we're gonna have to fix it ourselves. Nobody say a thing, or we're all gonna get in trouble. Basic training will have nothing on the smoke session we get if Sergeant Major finds out.

Those F-35 stealth fighters must be even closer to invisible than I thought because the Marines lost one on Sunday and nobody can find it. A Marine piloting the special vertical takeoff and landing version, the F-35B, suffered some kind of “mishap” and was forced to eject over South Carolina. He ejected safely. He’s fine. We can go on and laugh. The plane, however, was nowhere to be found. Weighing in at over 32,000 pounds even when it isn’t filled with jet fuel, you’d think the missing jet would be easy to find, but no. There was genuine concern that...

Nicole Solas, who has written for Legal Insurrection, tells this amazing story. It’s incredible how quickly this ideology spread into everything.From the Daily Caller:SOLAS: My Pediatrician Discharged My Kids Because I Objected To Gender IdeologyI didn’t know that asking for an exam room free from sexualization and gender ideology would cause my pediatrician to discharge my kids from her care.My now-former pediatrician installed on the wall of every exam room a “Safe Zone” rainbow triangle sticker with the words “sexual orientation,” “gender expression,” and “gender identity.” Meticulously placed in front of the exam table and at a child’s eye level,...

U.S. Democrat Senator Elizabeth Warren is demanding an investigation into SpaceX, whose CEO Elon Musk could have disrupted Ukraine's attack on the Russian Black Sea Fleet by refusing to connect the Starlink network in occupied Crimea, Bloomberg reported on Sept. 12. "The Congress needs to investigate what’s happened here and whether we have the adequate tools to make sure foreign policy is conducted by the government and not by one billionaire," Warren said. She also wants the Pentagon to examine its contractual relationship with the company. Musk is expected to attend a closed-door meeting with senators in the Capitol on...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Hurricane Idalia making landfall in Florida, President Joe Biden offered suffering victims in the Sunshine State comfort by telling them about the time he was in the bathroom and the urinal splashed back on him a little bit. "I've been in the same situation, folks," Biden said as he made remarks to the media regarding ongoing disaster relief efforts in Hawaii and Florida. "These hurricanes and storms flooding everything remind me of my own challenges. There was this one time, at a state dinner with the Pope, and I had to go see...

"I've never been worried about anything as much as where this is going."Tucker dropped some major thoughts on Adam Carolla's podcast: 🚩 Tucker Carlson Says They Will Do Anything to Stop Trump From Being President Again"If you begin with criticism, then you go to protest, then you go to impeachment, now you go to indictment and none of them work...What's next? Graph it out. We are speeding towards… pic.twitter.com/U29a7vMiUe— Chief Nerd (@TheChiefNerd) August 30, 2023 If you begin with criticism, then you go to protest, then you go to impeachment, now you go to indictment and none of them work....

Today we take apart AND durability test the all new Fairphone 5. The newest modular android flagship. Normally smartphones are glued shut, anti-consumer and designed to be obsolete by the time the next years model gets released. But the company Fairphone is different. With a full 5 year warranty - 8 years worth of updates - and most importantly easy to purchase repair components direct from the manufacturer... The Fairphone 5 is easilly the Best smartphone on the planet.

ATLANTA, GA — Sources in the Fulton County Sheriff's Office today confirmed that former president Donald Trump paid the extra $12 required to get the cool laser background on his mugshot. "You can pick from lasers, a forest scene where you pose against this tree, or a starfield," said the photographer as Trump carefully mulled over his options. "There's the regular kinda dark blue one, too, for no upcharge, but you know, only the poor kids do that." "I think, you know, I have to go with the lasers, Carla," he said. "Lasers are cool, everyone knows that. I'm a...

The door to America is wide open. Thousands of migrants are flowing across the US border in Arizona every day — literally through open floodgates that have made the Tucson post the busiest point of illegal entry into the country, The Post has learned. US officials have inexplicably welded open 114 massive gates along the Arizona border to allow water to flow freely during the annual monsoon season and for the migration of an endangered species of antelope, officials said. But the move is also letting an average of 1,400 migrants from as far away as China casually walk into...