KNOXVILLE, TN — Local wife Chelsea Hammond has just proposed a brand new 4,155-page Target funding bill to her husband but is only giving him 2 days to read through it all. Chelsea claims that if the omnibus spending package is not passed in its entirety, then their household will have to shut down and will be unable to buy necessities such as groceries and cute fuzzy socks with candy canes on them. "How am I supposed to read through all of this in just 2 days?" said concerned husband Kurt Hammond. "And don't get me wrong, honey, of course,...