Posted on 10/16/2002 7:59:02 AM PDT by Sonar5
Conflict divides St. Mary's
Nylon issue: Sides accuse each other of overreacting -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Ted Slowik STAFF WRITER
PLAINFIELD — Some parents and youth ministry leaders at St. Mary Immaculate Roman Catholic Church are saying a family overreacted by confronting parish officials and contacting police after eighth-graders in a confirmation class were told to put on nylon stockings as an exercise during a retreat.
Some other parents say the pastor overreacted by expelling the family's two sons from the parish school because their father violated a parental code of conduct by being too "intrusive, inflammatory or overbearing."
People on both sides of the issue agree that the controversy has exposed other conflicts at the parish of 5,200 families.
St. Mary's pastor, the Rev. Anthony Nugent, told Daniel and Anna Lisa Gianni last week that their first- and eighth-grade sons could no longer attend the school. Daniel Gianni was vice president of the school board.
Gianni's older son and about 60 other youths participated in a daylong retreat Oct. 6. At one point in the afternoon, the class went outside, broke into smaller groups and took part in a relay race. Each group was given a pair of oven mitts and panty hose, and runners had to have nylons pulled on over their clothes, up to about their knees in some cases. The purpose was to build teamwork and cooperation.
"It took two or three other people to open the feet (of the stockings) and put them on over a pair of shoes," said Phyllis Vonosinski, one of three parent leaders who assisted youth ministry director Rich Curran at the event.
"Everybody was laughing. Everybody was playing. Rich was taking pictures of the groups. It lasted all of 10 minutes," she said.
After the retreat, a parent called Daniel Gianni to report concerns about the incident because some boys apparently didn't want to participate.
"I remember one boy kept asking, 'What if I don't do it?' or 'Do I have to do it?', but he wasn't in my group," said Sally Ullery, another parent leader. "None of the kids in my group had any objections to it. ... It was all in fun."
Anna Lisa Gianni said her husband often brought up other parents' concerns at school board meetings because others were too afraid to confront parish officials. Following up on the other parent's complaint, Daniel Gianni confronted Curran during a phone call.
"I told him other parents and me felt like beating the crap out of him," Gianni told the Chicago Sun-Times.
He also reported the incident to Plainfield police.
"We found there was no criminal activity," said Mark Eiting, Plainfield's deputy police chief.
Nugent told the newspaper that he was sorry he had to expel the children but that he stood by his decision.
"That's why we had the code of conduct for the parents," he said. "So the parents would realize the responsibility of their actions."
Neither Nugent nor Curran returned calls from The Herald News.
Armando Garza, the parish's facilities manager, said he conducted the parish's internal investigation and met with Gianni as a representative of the administration. Parish officials had no complaint about the parents' decision to go to police, he said.
"We welcomed an outside independent authority to investigate it and prove there was nothing wrong," Garza said.
Garza said he sat in on the meeting when Nugent told Gianni his sons were being expelled "because I was directly involved in some of the issues."
Several other parents said they supported the family, and that Nugent has ousted other people for challenging his authority, including a substitute teacher and another parent who asked questions about Nugent's proposed tithing policy.
"We're all afraid of the consequences our kids will pay," said one parent.
Vonosinski and Ullery, the parent leaders, said many St. Mary's parents resent a new policy this year that requires eighth-graders to attend Monday night confirmation classes with children who attend public schools and are enrolled in the parish's religious-education classes.
"They don't like that they have to interact with public school people," Vonosinski said.
Anna Lisa Gianni said Tuesday that other parents plan to meet to discuss a response to Nugent's decision to expel the two children.
"Parents are becoming aware it could happen to them at any moment. They want to do something about it," she said.
She said the couple is checking out other schools for their sons. Their eighth-grader doesn't want to attend another school, and their first-grader is trying to understand what happened.
"He said to me in the car, 'Mom, why is Father Tony doing this to Jesus?'"
Ted Slowik can be reached at (815) 729-6053 or via e-mail at tslowik@scn1.com.
10/16/02
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Comments ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Story also appeared in the Following News Outlets.
NBC - Channel 5 News, Chicago 10/15/2002 6pm and 10pm News
CBS - Channel 2 News, Chicago 10/12/2002 5:30pm and 10pm News
Herald News Joliet, Illinois 10/12/2002 Front Page http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/heraldnews/top/j12stmary.htm
Chicago Sun Times, Sunday, 10/13/2002 http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-cath13.html
Anonymous Open Line Comments in Herald News, 10/16/2002: http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/heraldnews/opinions/openline/j16openline.htm
Please keep the Gianni Family in your prayers.
Here is the message:
"If your kids express any uncomfortable situations and you tell an adult, you will potentially be EXPELLED from the Parish and your kids will be EXPELLED from the school."
One Note: These Children are 13-14 years old. Some questioned the game and were allegedly told they had to do it. Talk about Peer pressure.
And the infamous Code of Conduct was never issued to Parents of Children in the Religious Education Program, it only applies to the school, and the confirmation program is COMPLETELY SEPERATE FROM THE SCHOOL.
See My Post #185 here for explanation regarding code of conduct: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/768397/posts?page=185#185
The other comment about those students not wanting to socialize with the public school students is hogwash, IMHO, and that is only one person.
Another parent who was there admitted hearing students state they didn't feel it was appropriate.
It was the boys who rightfullt objected, and the Pastor has already stated that this game (so-called picture taking pantyhose game) will no longer take place.
First Thread Here: Long 192 Posts so far, and related to Last Saturday's Article: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/768397/posts
In Conclusion, please continue praying for the Gianni Family during this difficult time, and please pray for our Parish.
Thank You,
All this uproar over a relay race???
From my understanding, some of the parents heard that their boys had to put on pantyhose and someone was taking pictures. In light of the recent sex abuse scandals in the Church, this raised a lot of concern. The parents asked about what went on and were ignored. This particular father, upset by getting no explanation, called the police (obviously assuming the worst about forcing boys to wear pantyhose and have their picture taken).
Only after all that happened were the parents finally told what the pantyhose game was.
So it sounds like some pretty ridiculous exagerration and poor behavior all around. If this family deserved to be expelled, then whoever was responsible on the school administration side ought to be dismissed as well.
(And that's setting aside the poor light it casts on proper religious formation in the Confirmation program at that school.)
Sounds like the cops should be checking out Gianni to see whether the alleged threat against the priest was credible.
First of all, I am catholic and I am aware of what the current events the catholic church is facing these days.
I saw the article that was posted a couple days ago and in it the article made no mention this was a relay race. The article made it sound as though a perverted priest made the boys dress in panty hose to take pictures.
It was my thinking then as it is now that there is a bit more in the background that lead up to this between the Gianni's and this church. Because going to the police and filing a report over a RELAY race is a bit over the edge.
As for the church/school, I also believe they went over the edge by expelling these two boys, they should not have to be stuck in the middle of whatever beef the Gianni's and the church have with each other.
But then I have to also ask, if the Gianni's are so upset, then why would they STILL want their children to attend.
If I as a parent had such a problem, I would not hesitate to pull my kids out.
So as I stated in a post a couple days ago .. there are still parts of this story that are missing IMO
I can fully understand the concerns of the parents and I don't question that
I just question why would someone go to the police and file a report over a relay race??
And that is why I think there is a bit more to the story that hasn't been told yet
I also have to ask, why didn't he ask the other parents that attended this event if he didn't get answers from the Pastor
Or does this father think these parents are perverts also??
It took two or three other people to open the feet (of the stockings) and put them on over a pair of shoes," said Phyllis Vonosinski, one of three parent leaders who assisted youth ministry director Rich Curran at the event.
Exactly.
Nugent overreacted by kicking the kids out of school. What a tyrannical, insane policy. Priests like this are the reason lots of Catholics just give up on the Church.
But Daddy Gianni is a hothead. Making a comment about "beating the crap" out of the pastor and then going to the cops (GOING TO THE COPS over a damned GAME???) shows a terrible lack of judgment on Gianni's part.
He's a dentist; I wouldn't let him stick his paws in my mouth under any circumstances.
I'm sorry, my friend, but you are overreacting as well. It doesn't sound as if anybody in Plainfield, Ill. has a lick of sense.
Excuse me, but where have I EVER stated that I have no concern for the children. If this priest or any other priest is sexually abusing children then throw the POS out and throw the book at him
As for the 6 other parents, this article makes no mention of that .. so how would I or anyone else for that matter know?
As for the pantyhose, was it a stupid idea? .. YES IT WAS
But having a Relay Race is not criminal .. so as I have stated previously .. there must be parts of this story that have yet to be reported
Might I suggest before accusing me of anything, maybe this reporter should put all of the information in the article
As for my opinion .. if a priest is found to be sexually abusing children, throw the POS out and the book at him
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