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Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross
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Hee Hee...funny!!!
Chipley is a four way stop on 90 and 77 isn't it? My kind of town or did it grow up?
ROFL
That's great! How am I supposed to read the rest of my pings? I can't stop laughing.
Good afternoon, GBUSA.
We can post the pictures here. LOL
Two blonds observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blond#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
No, it's still small town. Good place.
There's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new,
candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio
blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is
carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her
disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that
she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to
within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her
on his *ss, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks
like a wave and she waves back.
Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer
and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more
visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his *ss,
and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.
The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a
circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs
her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees
to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and
pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the
Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he
is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000
pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks
over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is
rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why
are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!" She is
laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out,
"While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. 'Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my god," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
What did the blond name her pet zebra?
Spot.
A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory.
"Dear Lord," he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.
"Without you we are but dust. . . "
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"
I love small towns. Keep the Nanny Liberals away.
LOL! You have a million of them, don't ya!
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to
his church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said,
"Father...during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me
to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you
have no need to confess that."
"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors."
The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However
two people under those circumstances can by very tempted to act that way.
But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one
more question..."
"And what is that?" said the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says,
"Awww, look at the poor dead bird." The blonde stops, looks
up, and says, "Where?"
Probably 75 percent of the people are registered democrats but vote republican. go figure.
One very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "OK, Get in the car with it."
"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"
He says, "Put it in between your legs It's nice and warm there.
"But what about the smell?"
Her husband said "Just hold its nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with, died at the scene. : ) <<< me
You're correct. (Although I wouldn't necessarily say that MM is "important" enough to laugh at; notorious or rediculous enough maybe. As when a humor attempt goes so far bad that it gets to the point of being laughable despite itself.) ;)
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