Political Limericks: Make Your Own!

Patriot Paradox

[sonsofliberty2000]

Yeah, well if they suck that bad make your own!

There once was a man named Kerry
Whose voting record was very scary
He flips and he flops,
while his poll numbers drop
and his positions seem contrary

There once was a Democrat named John
who of waffles he was very fond
over and over he served them up
while for some odd reason his followers ate them up
until they evetually caught on

Part 1: The Fairy

There once was a fairy named Leon
who asked a paticular John
what is your wish
I'll serve up a dish
and John just said bring it on

Part 2: Little John

After the fairy brought it on
here came little John
He was from the south
with a smile on his mouth
but very little else to brag on

Part 3: The Defeat

John and Little John went out
but the votes seemed in drought
They flipped and flopped
but they surely were stopped
by Bush and his whopping he dealt out

[Happy2BMe]

LoL!

You just got six months free subscription to "Poet And Don't Knowit Anonymous"

[weegee]

"That's... not... funnnnnnnny!"

Kerry Back To Wrinkles! Looks Worse Than Usual!

[Bernard Marx]

Or how much john kerry can your john carry?

How about this? Despite all Ter-Ay-Zuh’s wild gushing About Edwards’ and Kerry’s hair-brushing, In the cold light of day All one needs to say Is they’re just two full Johns that need flushing

[weegee]

There once was a John from a Nantucket
In 'Rolling Stone' he said, "**** it"
Kerry wanted to be
Seen on youths' M.T.V.
A 'Kerry presidency'? "Tough ****."

[weegee]

(formatting helps keep the rhyme...)

Despite all Ter-Ay-Zuh’s wild gushing
About Edwards’ and Kerry’s hair-brushing,
In the cold light of day
All one needs to say
Is they’re just two full Johns that need flushing

The beat pattern I found online was:

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

Just to use your limerick as an example, here is the same rhyme with just a few minor changes:

Despite all Ter-Ay-Zuh’s wild gushing
About Kerry/Edwards’ hair-brushing,
In the cold light of day,
All that one needs to say,
Is they’re two full Johns that need flushing!

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL !

[Bernard Marx]

Sorry about formatting: I forgot.

I guess I need to toss that English degree of mine in the circular file -- it didn't even teach me limerick scansion! I'm not too bad at heroic couplets, sonnets and villanelles though.

[ChadGore]

Isn't Woonsocket a town in the Boston area ?
Braintree is also in the Boston area ?

[weegee]

Formatting was the bigger thing than the extra 2 beats; like I say, I wanted to post that to this thread anyway.

Thanks for your contribution.

[weegee]

If you look closely at mine, you may find that while there are the right number of syllables, they don't always read as smoothly as a limerick should. To this I say, read it 'stiffly' in a John Kerry voice.

Someone should consider sending some of these to the RNC/GOP to share the laugh.

[Eva]

I've got the start of one and a few lines for other verses, but it will take a while to put those together.

There once was a kid from Groton,
Whose parents spoiled him rotten.
Even summered in France
He missed not a chance,
to take whatever they bought him.

[Eva]

I'm going to change that first verse.

There once was a kid from Groton,
Whose parents spoiled him rotten,
Even summered in France,
had every chance,
Yet, look at all that it taught him.

There once was a kid from Groton
Whose parents spoiled him rotten.
A gigilo's life
Then another man's wife,
He took whatever they bought him.

[weegee]

There once was a man named Kerry
He dreamed that Chirac said, "Mon cherie!"
French holidays in sun,
No wars on terror won.
Of his dreams, all voters should be wary.









P.S., if you see a better limerick in among my lines, run with it.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL !

[Bernard Marx]

If you look closely at mine, you may find that while there are the right number of syllables, they don't always read as smoothly as a limerick should.

And if you take a close look at mine you'll find that it *does* read smoothly as a limerick should -- and that's why I added the extra beats. Wow, limerick critics yet!

[Porterville]

I resubmit my poem under a new name-
Two Bloodsucking Pieces of Dog Crap- by me :)

“Follow me,” said the tick to the flea,
“I have plans for a blood feast that you’ve got to see!!”

“How do you mean,” said the flea quite surprised,
“You’ve slander me before with razors and knives.
Is it quite practical for you to invite,
A flea ‘you’ declared was little more than a mite!?!”

“But sir you are a mite,
Many consider me but the same,
Semantics and wordplay
Are the names of the game.
I’ve risen above, the rest of the heap,
But I must have a sidekick to make one last leap!!”

“Fleas, you see, have a certain appeal,
A skill, a zeal,
A triumph of will;
You have the ability to leap way beyond
Hurdles and fences not easily won.
Besides, I’m a tick, lowly and gray
And you are so bouncy, lively and gay!!”

The flea interrupted-in a most pleasant style,
“I have difficulty with matters of fairness in trial.
This ‘leap’ you believe I am capable of,
Would be much less taxing-
With help from the Gov!!”

So the little flea and the tick,
Strolled into the breach,
With power and riches beyond anyone’s reach,
For beside the gold stolen from AMERICANS abound,
Tributaries of wealth lay at their feet on the ground,
For as different as they appeared but to be,
They were both leaches- the tick and the flea.

[Happygal]

John Kerry, in war, played his part,
And not just as Hanoi Jane's sweetheart,
In one Vietnam winter,
He got pricked by a splinter,
That's how he got his purple heart.

[Happygal]

The-ray-zuh is John's right hand prop,
A botox'd high forehead she'd mop,
'Well,' says she, with a grin,
'I can't handle his chin'.
As he mouthed another Flip-Flop! ;-)

[ex-snook]

There once was a man from Nantucket
..............

the rest was banned in Boston even beyond Whoppi.

[MeekOneGOP]

hehehehe ! :^)