Scientists At Budweiser Attempt To Discover How Many Beers It Would Take For Dylan Mulvaney To Pass As A Woman

The Babylon Bee ^ | April 4, 2023

[McGruff]

ST. LOUIS, MO — Beer scientists at Budweiser headquarters are reportedly hard at work researching how many cans of Bud Light it would take for Dylan Mulvaney to pass as a woman.

According to sources, Mulvaney, who recently became a spokesman for the alcoholic beverage, was personally recruited by CEO Phillip Bud while he was inebriated — now human resources need to know how this could have happened.

One. No. Two. No, Dr. Pedro Morganstein noted in the test log. Three? Ugh, no.

Dr. Morganstein reportedly passed out twenty beers later, still believing Dylan Mulvaney was a man. However, he did note that his female colleagues were at least three points more attractive.

Alcoholic intake studies are nothing new for the Budweiser corporation, but experiments typically measure the rate of cognitive decline. Determining how many drinks it takes for a man to look like a woman is new territory for the team

[Allegra]

😂😂😂

I was at the grocery just a little while ago. I went to get a six-pack of Blue Moon and noticed all the crappy Budweiser stuff seemed to be fully stocked. Even the Corona and Modelo. I hope that means people aren’t buying it.

[old school]

I’m sorry but you’re wrong! It’s totally unmanly!

[central_va]

The beer preferred by fags the world over.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

They don’t make beer-goggles strong enough, even at closing time.

[Pharmboy]

I guess the Proctor and Gamble and Disney experiences did not affect them

[ViLaLuz]

Next Bud will replace their Clydesdale horses with Clydesdale dancers.

[LibertyWoman]

Interesting. I thought AofG forbade consuming alcohol.

[freedomjusticeruleoflaw]

Infinite beer…

[central_va]

Or pony girls.

[Songcraft]

I'm calling ageism!

How come Budweiser didn't even consider using this tranno for their Bud Light can queen?  (All the beer in the world won't make you think this one's a woman either, but no one thinks near-beer is beer either.)


     

[GOPJ]

Alcoholic intake studies are nothing new for the Budweiser corporation, but experiments typically measure the rate of cognitive decline. Determining how many drinks it takes for a man to look like a woman is new territory for the team

And how many beers do you have to drink to make bud lite lose the "ick' feel?

[GOPJ]

Alcoholic intake studies are nothing new for the Budweiser corporation, but experiments typically measure the rate of cognitive decline. Determining how many drinks it takes for a man to look like a woman is new territory for the team

And how many beers do you have to drink to make bud lite lose the "ick' feel - - the fishy stink?

[for-q-clinton]

Read who I was responding to before making an ass of yourself.

[for-q-clinton]

LOL.

[for-q-clinton]

I just checked and unfortunately yes it does. I don’t know why they don’t switch to splenda or stevia.

[Songcraft]

"Interesting. I thought AofG forbade consuming alcohol."

I think you're right.   (See "Assemblies of God - Abstinence From Alcohol".)

[Fai Mao]

I dated a girl whose father was an AofG pastor. He didn’t drink but he could really beat his daughter black and blue.

Not saying they are all lime that. He certainly was.

[LibertyWoman]

That’s what I thought. I found the ‘tale’ a bit suspect. :O

[Songcraft]

Well, I don't know much about them, but I believe their denomination members are "holy rollers", who also frequently "speak in tongues".

[CodeToad]

We're not homosexuals sober and we're not homosexuals drunk off our bar stools.

They'll need to see this guy.