Posted on 01/10/2023 12:32:55 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
U.S. — Medical experts are absolutely stumped as to what could be causing the recent uptick in healthy, young people everywhere that are suddenly collapsing with heart failure. Despite their uncertainty, experts do feel confident that we can rule out that one thing as the culprit.
"It's too early to say what could be causing this, but it's never too early to say what isn't causing this," said local expert, Dr. Scott Rufflinger. "This could be caused by anything. But the one thing we know for certain is that it's definitely not what we're all thinking that's behind this — if you know what I mean. We can go ahead and rule that thing out right now because Science just called us on the phone and told us not to discuss it. We always follow Science."
According to sources, experts have been working tirelessly around the clock to try and get to the bottom of why so many seemingly perfectly healthy, athletic people are falling over suddenly. "I wish I could point to something in the past year or two that large groups of people were exposed to, or forced into, but nothing comes to mind," added Dr. Rufflinger. "If only there was one thing all these patients had in common."
At publishing time, experts said they had narrowed down the list of what most likely was causing these sudden health issues down to: climate change, racism, Christian Nationalism, standing up too quickly, standing up too slowly, and not eating enough bugs.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
This recalls the 8-16 year fad of the news media announcing that something was not terrorism.
I had a theory, but I think it’s been debunked.
BB came within a 1/16” of getting me!
Dang they are good!
We are within the range of “Everyone knew there were issues with the vaccine but they all volunteered to get vaccinated anyway. It was never mandatory. No one was ever penalized for not being vaccinated and anyone who says people were penalized is a conspiracy kook”.
Whatever they took, it’s safe and effective…
I don’t have a clue why they are dropping, but I am sure glad I didn’t get jabbed!
Babylon Bee is far more non-fiction than satire these days. The rogue government hates them.
Gas Stoves.
If you are not driving an electric car,the excessive pollution from your gas powered vehicle can make you drop dead!
I’ve seen it with my own eyes!
( SNARC SARC.)
The jab is taking people out, Just like the renegade scientists said it would.
Get ivermectin and take a daily dose.
THe protocol for treatment mRNA inoculation induced illness can be found here:
Read it and do as it advises, you can save yourself:
https://covid19criticalcare.com/treatment-protocols/i-recover/
*
Who’s this woman? I have no idea Honey. I was just sleeping and and Idon’t know how she got in here. You believe me don’t you baby.
Reminds me of Monty Python skit,, nod,nod,wink wink
Bee nails it again
On a more serious note, we can go back through the FR archives and find the small group of FReepers that were adamant about the opportunistic criminality of forcing the vax on the youth.
Believable headline thanks to the fake “Science” we now have.
Certainly not! The problem we won't name is most certainly not caused by the measures we won't talk about. To say otherwise is to be a denier.
Unexplania.
Those boys at the Babylon Bee just do not understand. It is because of the following in order of importance.
1. Trump.
2. Man made global warming based on false science.
3. The rich do not pay enough taxes.
4. The middle class do not pay enough taxes.
5. The poor pay no taxes. I do not understand how this one works.
6. White supremacy, first instituted by the KKK a democrat organization.
7. Homophobia
8. Opposing genital mutilation of youth by knife and drugs
9. Etc, and lastly most importantly, speaking the truth.
Pretty sure it is gas stoves. /s
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