Posted on 09/03/2022 4:46:21 AM PDT by karpov
DEAR ABBY: Our daughter and her cousin are the same age. Both are medical school graduates. Eight months ago, when this cousin got married at an in-person wedding, he was showered with gifts from the family. My daughter, in contrast, had a private ceremony because of COVID concerns and sent a wedding announcement to the family. To the shock and amazement of my husband, my daughter and myself, not a single person in the family thought to send her a gift or even a card.
There’s no bad blood in the family. Everyone appears to love her. She is disappointed and devastated. Should I just get over this, or should I say something to the family? She and her husband live 2,000 miles away, and at this point, I can’t envision them making the effort to fly home and see the family ever again. — BAFFLED IN TEXAS
DEAR BAFFLED: I don’t think anyone intended to give your daughter short shrift. The rules of etiquette state that wedding gifts are required if someone is attending a wedding. While it would have been nice of these relatives to have sent a gift or at least a card, they were not required to. I see no reason why you shouldn’t inform these relatives that your daughter was deeply hurt that no one was inclined to send her and her husband so much as a congratulatory card.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Wife and I got married in a private ceremony 10+ years ago. Very few people sent us gifts. This has nothing to do with COVID.
If you can, you should send a gift. What will it cost you? $50? $100?
People are very stingy sometimes.
Daughter and husband don’t have to send gifts when family members marry
There was an article from 2021 about wedding vaccine mandates. In this one story, the bride and groom basically told all attendees that they're not welcome if they don't get the shot. In a twist, the bride's Dad (ya know...the guy paying for it all) refused to get a shot. Ruh roh...
If I had to guess, this is not Southern family.
If you’re feeling entitled to a gift, then it isn’t really a gift.
If they were stupid enough to still be playing the China Flu game eight months ago, they deserve what they got.
Wedding gifts are economically inefficient.
We still have stuff decades later that we’ve never used.
Asked Elouise???
These are the people I see wearing masks hiking alone.
COVID buffoons.
Dear Reader:
“You’re an idiot. Weddings are an exchage of gifts for free food and booze of which you provided neither. You could have simply worn a mask. Instead, your gullability and stupidity wrecked the most important day in your daughters life.
Also, for the future health and safety of the new mother and baby, do not travel the 2000 miles to see them. Zoom her your love.”
>>We still have stuff decades later that we’ve never used.
That stuff is supposed becomes your inventory for future weddings you attend.
We in fact got a wedding present at our wedding (35+ years ago), that still hard a card left inside when it was given to somebody else for a different wedding - didn’t bother me a bit, but thought it was quite funny.
Bring them home and have a post wedding celebration.
Thoughtless.
>>If you can, you should send a gift.
I always thought wedding gifts were for people invited to a wedding - if you are not invited to a wedding - for whatever reason - should you really be expected a gift?
These days the invitation also includes a note with the URLs at which the bride is registered.
If she held a private wedding due to Covid concerns, that tells me that it wasn’t because she COULDN’T have the wedding due to lockdowns but because she has Covidphobia and CHOSE to not have a regular wedding.
Suck it up.
Decisions have consequences.
Every mom thinks the world loves their daughter.
The reality may be different - maybe this girl was a jerk or manipulaitve or rude? Mom may not see that.
If I understand that long-winded sentence correctly, Abby is telling the Mom to contact the relatives and tell them they're cheapskates? Just toss a hand grenade into the family tree?
Yep...that should do it.
My daughter got married during Covid. There were 17 people at the wedding. It was easily the most fun weekend we’ve had in ages. It was literally just the people THEY wanted around them.
I highly recommend it to everyone getting married.
And no…their coffers did not get filled. But, the whole thing cost very little compared to what their peers shelled out.
Weddings are about a public, and spiritual commitment to each other. Economics are not really important.
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