Posted on 07/26/2022 2:08:33 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Thousands of women around the country are being forced to face a terrifying new reality in which they actually have to use one of the dozens of cheap, readily available methods of birth control in post-Roe America.
"For the first time, my habit of having unprotected sex with a different Tinder date every week to fill the empty hole in my soul may have consequences," said local concerned woman Sandra Tibbensburg. "I can't be bothered to stop at the gas station and pay three bucks for a pack of Trojans every time I go to a sleepover at a strange man's house! This is literally The Handmaid's Tale."
Some women are even going further, taking the drastic step of avoiding sex altogether outside the bonds of marriage. "I can't believe it has come to this point, but I may have to start being responsible with my body and relationships," said another concerned woman. "My very humanity has been stripped away from me now that I can't act like a sex-crazed animal. This is so scary."
With the dangers of post-Roe America ever-present, many women are now demanding servants follow them around to feed them free birth control crushed up in applesauce on a spoon. "If we don't do this, rights are dead in America," said Tibbensburg.
At publishing time, men reported being terrified they may actually have to start working hard for a woman's affections and getting married before having sex.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Oh, That Bee! ;)
An aspirin between the knees-works every time.
“I can’t be bothered to stop at the gas station and pay three bucks for a pack of Trojans every time I go to a sleepover at a strange man’s house! This is literally The Handmaid’s Tale.”
LOL! Those chicks that are SO wrapped around the axle about ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ Should probably READ IT. It perfectly describes the ‘utopian’ world they want to live in!
Morons. Who allows these women to reproduce in the FIRST place? Ugh!
As Doctor Laura would have said, she try staying upright and keeping her legs together.
Duck tape... Works wonders!
I think it’s duct tape.
Back in the late 80’s when they came out with some birth control shot, it had a side effect of basically shutting down a woman’s libido by making everything so super sensitive that sex was painful.
I don’t know if this stuff is still available, and if not, they should resurrect it.
On a personal note, it nearly tore my marriage apart, because my wife took it. But she didn’t know what was going on. Finally, we went back to her doctor, and he was like, oh yeah it can cause those side effect, but he never told us that. I almost knocked him out. It was so bad he dropped my wife as a patient and they were calling the cops to get me out of there.
Nobody ever mentions that all the birth control techniques and abortion could be easily avoided by just giving up sex. But, I guess that isn’t an acceptable alternative.
Recall that Rush got into trouble for calling the gal who said she needed $3000 a year for birth control the s word. That’s why she need free Obamacare bc.
Duck Tape is the brand and there’s a picture of a duck on the package. The product is duct tape.
For HVAC it would be.. for these things that look like THUMBS it’s Duck Tape and i comes in widths up to 3” so that may cove most of their canyon.
From: Retain Mike Sent: Tuesday, December 31, 2019 2:35 PM To: Lars Larson (talk@larslarson.com) Subject: Recreational Drugs
Sandra Fluke made such a compelling argument! I checked Amazon and month of birth control pills costs about $10 for a month, stopping for a drink three times a week at Starbucks costs about $60 per month, and the annual cost of attendance at Georgetown University Law School is $94,000.
This issue should be the province of Student Affairs because it is most closely related to intramural sports and not to healthcare.
Sandra Fluke Finally Testifies Before Congress
https://oversight.house.gov/news/press-releases/sandra-fluke-finally-testifies-before-congress
Pelosi: Fluke’s $3,000 Contraception Testimony 'Factual'--Despite $9-Per-Month Birth Control Pills
https://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/pelosi-fluke-s-3000-contraception-testimony-factual-despite-9-month-birth-control-pills
Tuition & Cost of Attendance
https://www.law.georgetown.edu/admissions-aid/financial-aid/tuition-cost-of-attendance/
Brain Dead Socialist Women are the biggest curse on America, Bar None!
In fact, I’d give up MY right to vote, if it would prevent THOSE idiots from voting!
On my GOSH, the BEE hit it out of the park, again.
but thus is the way it should be....sex leads to pregnancy....
maybe we can get past this promiscuous and caustic society?>....
“the BEE hit it out of the park, again.”
All due respect to the BEE, abortion is birth control. All others are flawed so abortion is the last ditch Abortion comes from birth control
Without abortion all other birth control doesn’t work, they require commitment and/or a plan which… has been abortion.
Correct, The great late Rush called Sandra Fluke a slut and liberals were calling for him to be removed...
Heaven forbid they should just keep their knees together.
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