Posted on 04/13/2022 4:04:21 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C—The White House grounds have entered a lockdown following the sighting of a senile old man wandering around waving a gun and making outlandish demands.
"Look folks, no more automatic weapons! You hear me, I'm serious! And no more gramblegrawp!" said the old, confused man while pointing his gun at everyone. "I traveled 1700 miles, million miles, so c'mon and listen up! Ghost guns are banned. No Congress needed."
Witnesses claim that while the man appeared to be well-dressed, he had no clue who or where he was. "He kept asking 'where's First Lady Kamala' and asking why's nobody taking him seriously," said Peter Flanagan, a White House correspondent. "He made bizarre claims that he was the President of The United States, 81 million people voted for him, and his butt's been wiped."
The White House was forced to release a statement instructing individuals not to approach the out-of-touch and armed individual. They also recommended just letting the man continue to make his speech as if he were actually addressing the nation and his words actually had legal authority.
At publishing time, a tactical team was forced to intervene after he made statements calling for "tobacco farmers to be immune for being sued for prostitutes." The confused old man was reported to be safely apprehended and enjoying an ice cream cone on the way back to his nursing home.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Memetastic!
“I godda shockgun an’ I’ma give ya two blasts if I don’ get two scoopsuv icecream!”
The Bee can’t get ahead of the insane lunacy of the current Presidential Administration.
Classic!
Lordy how I love The Bee
I finally guessed right. It’s Babylon Bee.
And then he went back into the White House to gum some jell-o and toke a lid.
Trunalimunumaprzure!
“senile old man”
BS propaganda... He was right, right on the money, And one of the few true adults in the room.
This patriot did not care if the damned ballgame was on or not... More important priorities and points to make.
Good for him, we need a couple hundred million with balls like this true patriot...
Somebody is supposed to be watching Biden 24/7
Lol, everyone is thinking “It’s the Bee you idiot!”
Yeah... I know. A satirical reply was fair game.
But my perspective remains exactly the same...
Trust me, he’s not harmless.
There is more truth in The Bee than in the regular news.
Working at the Bee must be a blast
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