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California Imposes Statewide Mask Mandate On Your Mom Because She Ugly
The Babylon Bee ^ | December 14, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/15/2021 1:25:51 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

SACRAMENTO, CA—California Governor Gavin Newsom has announced that in response to the Omicron variant there will be a statewide mask mandate on your mom, because she is so ugly and no one wants to deal with looking at her while we have COVID to worry about.

“Scientists say this new Omicron variant is spreading fast,” Newsom announced to the press. “And the first thing I thought of is your mom and how her face can strip paint. Can you imagine being sick from COVID and also having to look at your ugly mom? That’s why we’re mandating that your mom wear a mask immediately, and we will even supply a free paper bag if needed.”

The mask mandate on your ugly mom is effective immediately, and you are urged to check and make sure your mom is wearing a mask, because you’re the one most used to looking at her if she isn’t.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Local News; Miscellaneous; Science; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; california; maskmandate; newsom; satire; ugliness; yamama
DANG!!!
1 posted on 12/15/2021 1:25:51 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

No wonder the “girls” on the view wear face masks so much of the time.


2 posted on 12/15/2021 1:27:30 PM PST by Signalman (HA)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

only ugly people are required to wear face masks...pass it on

that should end any compliance


3 posted on 12/15/2021 1:27:38 PM PST by joshua c (Dump the LEFT. Cable tv, Big tech, national name brands)
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To: Signalman

Maxine: Good thing it jess the Babylonian Bees or I gonna be right upside their haid.


4 posted on 12/15/2021 1:37:19 PM PST by frank ballenger (You have summoned up a thundercloud. You're gonna hear from me. Anthem by Leonard Cohen)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Newsom is exacting his revenge over having survived an embarrassing recall vote.

Yes, he is that vindictive.


5 posted on 12/15/2021 1:45:56 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

You can only do so much with botox, then it needs a mask!

FYI: Nancy isn't Gavin's Mom, but they travel in the same flock!

6 posted on 12/15/2021 1:56:36 PM PST by SES1066 (Ask not what the LEFT can do for you, rather ask what the LEFT is doing to YOU!)
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To: SES1066

Isn’t she his aunt?


7 posted on 12/15/2021 2:15:13 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: Signalman

How about permanent face masks—never to be removed? Sewn on to the face at birth? Then we would never get sick.


8 posted on 12/15/2021 2:20:35 PM PST by Forward the Light Brigade ( ALWAYS GO FORWARD AND NEVER GO BACK.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Isn’t she his aunt?

Gov. Gavin Newsom's aunt, Barbara Newsom, was once married to Ron Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi's brother-in-law (husband's brother). Barbara Newsom and Ron Pelosi divorced in 1977.

If their numbers were in the telephone book (but I date myself), they'd only be separated by the 'O's!

9 posted on 12/15/2021 3:19:57 PM PST by SES1066 (Ask not what the LEFT can do for you, rather ask what the LEFT is doing to YOU!)
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To: SES1066
This thread needs help....

There. Saved the thread. You can always count on Bagster the Magnificent when the chips are down.

FYI: Nancy isn't Gavin's Mom, but they travel in the same flock!

"While in school, Newsom spent a semester studying abroad in Rome. Newsom's aunt was married to Ron Pelosi, the brother-in-law of Speaker of the United States House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi."


10 posted on 12/15/2021 3:56:10 PM PST by bagster ("Even bad men love their mamas".)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Ugly? Comparing "Wanda" from "In Living Color" to Maxine Waters you have to admit...

JaimeMaxine

Jaime Foxx is far less revolting.

11 posted on 12/15/2021 8:04:13 PM PST by MikelTackNailer (Truly tanned, rested and ready to raise hell - Trump '24!)
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To: MikelTackNailer
Its okay, I got a whole case of ugly protectors.


12 posted on 12/15/2021 8:31:00 PM PST by bagster ("Even bad men love their mamas".)
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To: bagster
LOL! It'd take a smoke-eater shovel to put that flaming ugly out - and even then the shovel would cry "Hey, what did I do to you to deserve this?"

Seriously though: true ugliness comes from the soul. These women's are so pervasive it manifests on the outside no matter what they do to stave it off. Good thing their advanced age will see them answer to God soon.

13 posted on 12/16/2021 3:22:11 PM PST by MikelTackNailer (Truly tanned, rested and ready to raise hell - Trump '24!)
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