Posted on 06/29/2021 5:15:45 PM PDT by CharlesOConnell
There are amicable divorces. And I’d rather see people divorce amicably than put themselves and their kids through lifelong hell.
The problem is that people can’t let go of their lower natures to navigate divorce properly, any better than they do navigating marriage.
My issue with SAM is that in my years here, I’ve never seen him miss a single chance to generally condemn marriage as an institution - and women! - whenever he can. That seems like a very unhealthy obsession, and he needs to get over his individual experience, realize that there is more in life than his personal resentments, and GET a life.
As to the point of the thread - I suspect that there are MANY people on this board who started out’living in sin’, and went on to have very long, fulfilling marriages.
I wouldn’t suggest that a young couple do it, but it has worked out fine for many.
(Almost 30 happy years with the same good man, here - and yes, we Did.)
bump
I’m not a man - but there are plenty of very good and non-jaundiced men here, who can convince you - if they have any inclination to approach someone as obviously angry and closed-minded as you are.
That 23 y/o daughter is an adult, albeit a young one.
Her remarks sound rude and unnecessarily disrespectful.
“Well, I don’t care what you and Dad think. You’ll just have to accept it!”
Me talking to my parents like that even at age 23, would have earned me a good hard slap in the chops.
However, I know each family is different on what manner of communication is allowed. Even back then (60’s 70’s) some kids were known to talk smack to their parents, treat them as classmates vs parents.
In reality its usually the other way around ...
B-B-B-baby baby baby why you wan’ treat me this way
You know I’m still your lover boy I still feel the same way
That’s when she told me a story, ‘bout free milk and a cow
And said no hug-ee no kiss-ee until I get a weddin’ vow
My honey my baby, don’t put my love upon no shelf
She said don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself
My thinking is when you live together, you are more willing to compromise since it is short term. When you then get married it is then, “I’m not willing to do that the rest of my life”. The other party then feels cheated.
My Dad, God rest his soul, put it far more simply when I came of age back in the 1970s.
Why buy a cow when you get milk free? And would any woman that stupid be worth keeping?
No, I guess not, I told him . . . and I kept my snake in the cage until I found one worth keeping about my 28th birthday. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.
The very few amicable divorces dont counter the massive general patrern of antagonistic divorces, which are the norm. The structure of family court encourages women to be antagonistic to gain the maximum amount of money from the man.
I see you ignored most of what I said, especially my simple statement about selling me on all the bene fits marriage brings a man today.
Maybe its you who are really projecting here, because you certainly have no idea about my life.
I will continue to post my opinions based on reason and facts, and if you dont like them, I truly do not care at all. Truths are often not pleasant. Do you think I am happy about the current situation for men and marriage? I have never ever said that. Its exremely depressing. BUT ITS THE TRUTH. Why you dont like hearing it or acknowledging it could be a whole number of reasons.
True and great point. All real marriages are three-way. God, man and wife. However I’m pretty sure God will take her side in a pinch. 😬
Maybe you should tell us what actually happened to you, since you assert that your posted opinions are based on reason and facts.
I suspect that in any divorce or ensuing litigation, there is very rarely only one ‘guilty’ party.
Durn tootin’ - remember who Mary was. But yeah, a Christ centered marriage is most important; keeps everyone focused, and together. There are sadly, failed Christian marriages esp. among pastors who should be the “go to people” when things get rocky.
Being grounded in reality isnt anger or close minded.
Your response is just an attempt to dismiss a viewpoint you dont particularly like by caling it anger and the person expressing it, close minded.
Shame tactics and nsults shut down discussion and information exchange, and as you used them, you show you have no genuine desire to discuss the issue, and instead just want to shut me up because yu didnt like whatI said.
The Bezos divorce comes to mind. $150 billion will get ya a lot of amicability.
A woman who espouses the primacy of real butter and heavy whipping cream in the kitchen is probably not a slouch in other areas of life.
This November it’ll be 26 years for this couple that “lived in sin” for two years before marriage (so, really 28 years..and still going strong).
I base it on divorce statistics
I base it on secondhand experiences told to me by friends and family
I base it on others stories of their divorces they have shared with the world one way or another
I base it on the legal inequalities of current us law that are heavily, heavily weighed in favor of women at the expense of men
I base it on the legal statisics that show even when men may in rare cases, get payments by a woman, for example, he is far more likely not to be paid, as the system almost never goes after women who do not make their payments, and the stats show of the very few women who ever are ruled to make payments, a higher percentage of these women do not make payments at all, or fail to make the proper amount payments.
I base it on documentaries such as Divorce Corp, where people share their stories, divorce attorney explain wht goes on in Family Court, and Family Court judges explain what go on in Family Court. It is an abomination of gross injustice.
My kids were raised that at 18 they were on their own to make life choices.
So, it isn’t actually from personal experience? You’ve never been married?
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