My thinking is when you live together, you are more willing to compromise since it is short term. When you then get married it is then, “I’m not willing to do that the rest of my life”. The other party then feels cheated.
Many times I have heard men I barely know complain that their wife changed completely with marriage. No idea why they would complain to me.
“My thinking is when you live together, you are more willing to compromise since it is short term.”
Right-o. I think there’s a lot of that, particularly on the women’s side. This is anecdotal, I know, but a woman I’m acquainted with has been desperately pursuing a loser-ish sorta fellow for the past half dozen years. Around the dawn of covid, loser guy lost his job, so he moved in with her to save expenses. After a few months, she’s knocked up, thus fulfilling her long-term goal of becoming a mom. Baby was born a few months ago, but no wedding, no ring, no plans. It’s almost nauseating the extent that this gal kisses her boyfriend’s rear end, constantly lavishing praise on what a great dad he is, what a great cook he is, what a great “partner” he is. So if there’s any dispute between the two, is she willing to compromise? Damned right she is. She’s not about to do anything that might cause the guy to walk. Now imagine that they were married, and suddenly it’s not so simple for the guy to walk when you’re talking about divorce and asset division and child support and custody hearings, etc. Would she be willing to kiss the dude’s ass to the extent that she is doing now?