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VANITY: Things you can say to a TSA agent.
Me

Posted on 11/17/2010 4:41:14 PM PST by Sergio

I thought we would start a list of whitty things that we can say to groping TSA agents that we could get away with and still make them uncomfortable. I'll start with a few, I hope many more will be added.

1. The doctor says I shouldn't be contagious...awww what the heck, I'm willing to risk it.

2. How many times can I get searched before I have to to to my gate?

3. Scabies and crabs...scabies and crabs...scabies and crabs...

4. Is tipping allowed?

5. (In a Homer Simpson looking at doughnuts voice) Hmmmmmmmmm...great pat down.

6. If you don't mind, please leave it pointing in the direction you found it.

Have at my FRiends!!!


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Travel
KEYWORDS: napl; tsapervs
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To: Sergio

Suck it!


41 posted on 11/17/2010 5:07:17 PM PST by beethovenfan (If Islam is the solution, the "problem" must be freedom.)
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To: CynicalBear

Yes, someone on FR yesterday suggested everyone just MOAN loadly while being touched.....


42 posted on 11/17/2010 5:07:29 PM PST by goodnesswins (You deciding how to spend your health care $, thatÂ’s freedom. Govt deciding, thats a death panel)
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To: Sergio

I’m gonna get me a pair of these shorts. Make it easy for ‘em.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/Hn4CZClkqoa3d86fyo4noSgno1_500.jpg

(Warning. R-rated photo.)


43 posted on 11/17/2010 5:07:37 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (Yes, as a matter of fact, what you do in your bedroom IS my business.)
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To: M Kehoe

Heh heh.

Is Mike FReeping tonight?

I remember his thread from earlier today. If he does not answer, maybe we could pass the hat for bail money?


44 posted on 11/17/2010 5:09:23 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (Yes, as a matter of fact, what you do in your bedroom IS my business.)
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To: All

10. Sorry...I can’t help myself. (no need to say or do anything else, let the TSA guy worry about what you can’t help yourself about.)

11. Hey is Larry working today? I hear he’s the best at this.


45 posted on 11/17/2010 5:10:37 PM PST by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: Sergio

How about
Show me your probable cause
Touch me and I will have you arrested for assault
Last time I checked it was against the law to grope an American citizen against their will
When it is likely that an white female Okie will blow up a plane then you can search me
Can I have the your name and badge number as well as the name and number of the head of security at this facility so I will know who to name in the lawsuit?


46 posted on 11/17/2010 5:11:06 PM PST by No_Doll_i
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To: Sergio

Don’t act like your not impressed.


47 posted on 11/17/2010 5:13:24 PM PST by bigheadfred (wogga la hooga)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Dude...AWESOME, disgusting, but AWESOME.

By the way...you owe me a keyboard.


48 posted on 11/17/2010 5:13:24 PM PST by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: Sergio

Strap a large banana to your leg, then exclaim when examined, “In my country, we always carry our fruit there. How do you do it in your country?”


49 posted on 11/17/2010 5:14:44 PM PST by irishtenor (All that I say, all that I do, is predestined.)
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To: Responsibility2nd
Good evening.

Is Mike FReeping tonight?

Don't know, but he could use a laugh after what he went through.

5.56mm

50 posted on 11/17/2010 5:15:54 PM PST by M Kehoe
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To: Responsibility2nd

It ain’t R rated in Florence


51 posted on 11/17/2010 5:19:34 PM PST by nkycincinnatikid
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To: Thunder90

“Go gay on the TSA agents.... :)”

Some deep moaning and groaning, followed by some quick yes, yes, YESes!
(hand pounding on the table optional - courtesy of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.”)


52 posted on 11/17/2010 5:20:16 PM PST by BelleAl (Proud to be a member of the party of NO! NO more deficit spending and government control!)
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To: Sergio

Tell them this: “I’m HiV positive.’’


53 posted on 11/17/2010 5:21:55 PM PST by jmacusa (Two wrongs don't make a right. But they can make it interesting.)
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To: Sergio
They promised me Hooter's girls!
54 posted on 11/17/2010 5:22:11 PM PST by mnehring
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To: Sergio

Do I get a happy ending?


55 posted on 11/17/2010 5:24:34 PM PST by RobRoy (The US Today: Revelation 18:4)
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To: Sergio

How’s it hanging NOW?


56 posted on 11/17/2010 5:25:23 PM PST by paulycy (Demand Constitutionality. Save America From Bankruptcy.)
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To: Responsibility2nd; Beaten Valve

They don’t really need a “real” reason. But I like to get there early so I have the time to put up with the brown shirt lame attempts at intimidation. Ultimately, there is not much they can do, if they don’t want a lawsuit. If you give them the impression that you are itching for one, well, turnabout is fair play.


57 posted on 11/17/2010 5:28:04 PM PST by RobRoy (The US Today: Revelation 18:4)
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To: Keith in Iowa

I was reading comments after an article and a person who had supposedly watched a ‘pat’ down said the TSA person told the person ‘patted’ down to wait, then took the gloves and had them scanned/analyzed. Perhaps that means they have the ‘sniffed’ for residue from explosive? But then again maybe they just stick the gloves with the hands still in them in a ‘sniffer’ and if no problem use them on the next person in line.............


58 posted on 11/17/2010 5:28:16 PM PST by tickles
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To: Sergio

12. Start singing the intro to a classic song from “The Who” See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.


59 posted on 11/17/2010 5:32:29 PM PST by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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To: Sergio

Man, I wish I could post to my original entry.

13. (In you best Verizon Guy voice) Can you feel me now? Good!


60 posted on 11/17/2010 5:35:45 PM PST by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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