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VANITY: Things you can say to a TSA agent.
Me

Posted on 11/17/2010 4:41:14 PM PST by Sergio

I thought we would start a list of whitty things that we can say to groping TSA agents that we could get away with and still make them uncomfortable. I'll start with a few, I hope many more will be added.

1. The doctor says I shouldn't be contagious...awww what the heck, I'm willing to risk it.

2. How many times can I get searched before I have to to to my gate?

3. Scabies and crabs...scabies and crabs...scabies and crabs...

4. Is tipping allowed?

5. (In a Homer Simpson looking at doughnuts voice) Hmmmmmmmmm...great pat down.

6. If you don't mind, please leave it pointing in the direction you found it.

Have at my FRiends!!!


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Travel
KEYWORDS: napl; tsapervs
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1 posted on 11/17/2010 4:41:17 PM PST by Sergio
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To: Sergio

If you touch it, it will explode.


2 posted on 11/17/2010 4:44:03 PM PST by bigheadfred (wogga la hooga)
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To: Sergio

Just curios, are they changing gloves between those “love taps”? They could easily pass on virus’ from one person to another ... or are those gloves just to protect them .... hmmm


3 posted on 11/17/2010 4:44:28 PM PST by SkyDancer ("If You Don't Read The News You're Uninformed, If You Do Read The News You're Misinformed")
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To: Sergio

Let me share my hepatitis with you.


4 posted on 11/17/2010 4:45:42 PM PST by snowrip (Liberal? You are a socialist idiot with no rational argument.)
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To: Sergio

“Are we officially dating now?”


5 posted on 11/17/2010 4:45:42 PM PST by Darksheare (I shook hands with Sheryl Crow and all I got was Typhus and a single sheet of toilet paper.)
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To: SkyDancer

“Aren’t you going to at least buy me a drink first” ?


6 posted on 11/17/2010 4:46:39 PM PST by Col Frank Slade
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To: bigheadfred

You can only touch it if your face is right next to it-! Or, if you touch it you’ll never touch anything again.


7 posted on 11/17/2010 4:46:49 PM PST by imjimbo (The constitution SHOULD be our "gun permit")
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To: SkyDancer

>>>Just curios, are they changing gloves between those “love taps”? They could easily pass on virus’ from one person to another ... or are those gloves just to protect them .... hmmm

That right there is a legitimate concern. If I’m ever subject to that type of screening, I’m going to ask when was the last time they changed gloves, and insist they don a fresh pair before they lay a hand on me.


8 posted on 11/17/2010 4:46:53 PM PST by Keith in Iowa (FR Class of 1998 | TV News is an oxymoron. | MSNBC = Moonbats Spouting Nothing But Crap.)
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To: Sergio

“Are you free tonight?”


9 posted on 11/17/2010 4:47:02 PM PST by Dallas59 (President Robert Gibbs 2009-2013)
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To: Sergio

“I hope my herpes outbreak is over with.” -said under your breath

*said in old spice commercial voice*:
“Close your eyes, now open them, where are you? You’re in the desert with the man who has herpes!”


10 posted on 11/17/2010 4:47:59 PM PST by Darksheare (I shook hands with Sheryl Crow and all I got was Typhus and a single sheet of toilet paper.)
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To: Sergio

“Excuse me Mr.TSA Agent, I had sauerkraut, refried beans, beer, and broccoli for lunch.”


11 posted on 11/17/2010 4:47:59 PM PST by TheConservativeParty (TSA Slogan "You won't see London,you won't see France,until we see your underpants.")
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To: SkyDancer

Viruses? VIRUSES? EWWWWW!

I haven’t even made it to Tijuana and I already have the clap...


12 posted on 11/17/2010 4:48:01 PM PST by bigheadfred (wogga la hooga)
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To: Sergio

Ha, ha.

I have a relative who is a screener, and he his wound tigheter than a clock when people start making comments at him.

He’ll hand you off to a LEO before you can spell LEO...


13 posted on 11/17/2010 4:48:22 PM PST by Beaten Valve
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To: Sergio

I usually don’t care for vanities, but yours is an exception.


14 posted on 11/17/2010 4:48:44 PM PST by nkycincinnatikid
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To: Sergio
5. (In a Homer Simpson looking at doughnuts voice) Hmmmmmmmmm...great pat down.

--------------------------


Doh!

15 posted on 11/17/2010 4:48:50 PM PST by BobP (The piss-stream media - Never to be watched again in my house)
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To: SkyDancer
"Just curios, are they changing gloves between those “love taps”? They could easily pass on virus’ from one person to another ... or are those gloves just to protect them .... hmmm"

Euu... Just another question for Big Sis who can give a 1000 word non answer.

16 posted on 11/17/2010 4:49:57 PM PST by Truth29
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To: Sergio

In Al Gore voice: Release my second chakra

(ugggg gave myself the ickies on that one)


17 posted on 11/17/2010 4:50:00 PM PST by Domandred (Fdisk, format, and reinstall the entire .gov system.)
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To: Sergio

Start singing Led Zeppelin “Immigrant Song.”


18 posted on 11/17/2010 4:50:20 PM PST by Darksheare (I shook hands with Sheryl Crow and all I got was Typhus and a single sheet of toilet paper.)
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To: Sergio

“A little to the left...oh no, wait...yeah - right there...that’s it.”


19 posted on 11/17/2010 4:50:20 PM PST by babyfreep
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To: Sergio

JURY TRIAL. ....SEE YOU IN COURT IN FRONT OF MY FELLOW PASSENGERS


20 posted on 11/17/2010 4:51:07 PM PST by 4Speed
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