I Am the Very Model of a Biblical Philologist [3:44]

YouTube ^ | December 11, 2014 | Josh Tyra

[SunkenCiv]

(I just did what I hope are complete corrections to the YouTube transcript as reformatted by that AI I use, but much of this was too much for the YouTube transcriber to handle) 

I Am the Very Model of a Biblical Philologist | 3:44 
Josh Tyra | 4.54K subscribers | 299,975 views | December 11, 2014

[SunkenCiv]

[Music]

I am the very model of a biblical philologist. I'm quite the Semitician and a passing Hittitologist. My articles are free from all grammatical iniquity. I rank Semitic cognates in their order of propinquity.

I am very well acquainted with matters exegetical. I side with all the orthodox and censure the heretical. In prince, I wrinkle brows of any liberal who wrinkles mine. Wrinkles mine. Wrinkles mine.

Got it. And counter all the thesis of that vigilante Finkelstein. And counter all the thesis of that vigilante. And counter all the thesis of the vigilante Finkelstein. And counter all theses of that vigilante Finkelstein.

Then I can give a lecture on the logic of Leviticus and tell you every symbol in the apparatus criticus and shortened matters lexical, semantic, and homologous. I am the very model of a biblical philologist! He shortens matters lexical and homologous. He is the very model of a biblical philologist!

I know my St. Jerome and all his Vulgate Prolegomena. I've memorized, in order, all the known hapex legomena! Then I could tell the age of every patriarch in Genesis and tell the daghesh fortés from the shureqs and the lenéses.

I dream in Aramaic and interpret it in Syriac. I've posited that Esau was a possible porohyriac. Then I can parse at sight a polal, hithpolal or hishtaphel.

I say that's a hard one, isn't it? I've got it. And topple any argument it happens that I wish to fail. And topple any argument it happens that he wish to fail. And topple any argument it happens that you wish to fail. Topple any argument it happens that you wish to wish to fail.

Then I can date a sample of Arabian calligraphy and tell you what the scribe was wearing based on the epigraphy! In short, in matters lexical, semantic, and homologous, I am the very model of a biblical philologist! In short, in matters lexical, semantic, and homologous, he is the very model of a biblical philologist!

Then I can write a shopping list in classical Sumerian and tell you whether peoples were nomadic or agrarian. I know the Jewish festivals Purimic and Kippurian. I mumble in Mandiac, I can hum a little Hurrian. Then I can sing the alphabet in Hieroglyph Luwian, and catalog the animals both pre- and postdiluvian. Then I can tell a surplice from a chasubal or maniple. Maniple. Maniple. Oh dear me. I suppose it's unavoidable really. And reconstruct the library of ancient Assurbanipal. And reconstruct the library of ancient Assurbanipal. And reconstruct the library of ancient Assurbanipal. And reconstruct the library of ancient Assurbanipal.

I wrote my dissertation in a flowery Akkadian and proved the Philistines were almost certainly Canadian. In short in matters lexical, semantic, and homologous, I am the very model of a biblical philologist! In short in matters lexical, semantic, and homologous, he is the very model of a biblical philologist!

Presto agitato su play maestro.

Then I can write a shopping list in classical Sumerian and tell you whether the peoples were nomadic or agrarian. I know the Jewish festivals Purimic and Kippurian. I mumble in Mandiac, I can hum a little Hurrian.

Then I can sing the alphabet in Hieroglyph Luwian, and catalog the animals both pre- and postdiluvian. Then I can tell a surplice from a chasubal or maniple. And reconstruct the library of ancient Assurbanipal.

[Music]

I wrote my dissertation in a flowery Akkadian and proved the Philistines were almost certainly Canadian. In short in matters lexical, semantic, and homologous, I am the very model of a biblical philologist! In short in matters lexical, semantic, and homologous, he is the very model of a biblical philologist! How do you like that, eh Finkelstein?

[Music]

[SunkenCiv]

There needs to be a Grammy category for this.

[Magnum44]

Try to say “biblical philologist” 5 times fast...

[SunkenCiv]

I tried it as I read along with him, and wound up blacking out.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I learned a new word today. Porohyriac.

I would disagree and say it was more likely Hypertrichosis. But new word is new word.

[Migraine]

Nice bit of Gilbert and Sullivan there.

[SunkenCiv]

Whoops, “In prince” should be “In print”.

[SunkenCiv]

LOL!

[ComputerGuy]

Good one!

[gleeaikin]

Oh well, at least you are not a Major General. ;-) I wonder what Barry Fell would say.

[af_vet_1981]

And what pronunciation did Yeshua use to declare יהוה to his brethren ?

[Carry_Okie]

Nice bit of Gilbert and Sullivan there.

I'd have said "Sully-vain."

But that's just me.

Given the mess Biblical linguistics are (it took me two years to decipher Genesis 4), I shudder at what AI will do with it.

[Ezekiel]

Excellent!

It’s enough to make Tom Lehrer weep!

Tom Lehrer - The Elements

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM

[silent majority rising]

Wow.

[BipolarBob]

Someone is in love with their literary prowess and vocabulary and wish to proclaim it.

[ScaniaBoy]

The nerdiest humour ever! Love it! Thanks for posting.

Allow me to show my own nerdiness: thesis should be theses (plural of thesis) and Esau was possibly a porphyriac - someone who is unable to synthesise the heme molecule properly.

[buckalfa]

With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan, that was to damn funny. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[left that other site]

When Everyone is Somebody...

Then NO One’s ANYBODY!

[SunkenCiv]

Definitely! When he called Finkelstein a vigilante, I really lost it, and given my poor housekeeping skills, it’s extremely risky to fall off a chair around here.

[SunkenCiv]

“Be What You Is, ‘Cause if You Be What You Isn’t, You Ain’t What You Is!”