Posted on 01/16/2023 10:22:50 PM PST by SunkenCiv
What did people in the Middle Ages really find funny? It would seem that the same things have been found to be amusing right across the ages. Many of the riddles that the Medievals told have double entendre’s and the jokes are rude with references to sex and bodily functions. No one was exempt from being the target of a Medieval joke; stupid husbands, unfaithful wives, bishops, even royalty.
A 'Hilarious' Compilation of Medieval Jokes and Humour!
MedievalMadness | 195K subscribers
296,201 views | September 2, 2022
(Excerpt) Read more at youtube.com ...
Transcript 0:01 what did people in the middle ages 0:03 really find funny it would seem that 0:06 these same things have been found to be 0:08 amusing right across the ages many of 0:10 the riddles that the medievals told have 0:12 double entendres and the jokes are rude 0:14 with references to sex and bodily 0:17 functions no one was exempt from being 0:19 the target of a medieval joke stupid 0:22 husbands unfaithful wives bishops 0:24 royalty even yo mama in today's episode 0:27 we're going to try something a little 0:28 different and reel off a compilation of 0:31 medieval jokes and humor 0:33 welcome to medieval madness 0:47 rude riddles 0:49 a very famous manuscript was written in 0:52 anglo-saxon england in around the late 0:54 10th century the anthology of poetry 0:57 written in old english is known as the 0:58 exeter book many of these riddles are 1:01 instructive in nature and because the 1:03 book was written down by catholic monks 1:05 the answers usually involve animals or 1:07 things that occur in the natural world 1:09 but in amongst these moral riddles are 1:11 several brain teasers with sexual 1:13 overtones and that might feel strange 1:15 when we consider these monks were 1:17 supposedly pious and pure in thought 1:20 let's face it dirty riddles aren't 1:21 really much different to dirty jokes 1:23 here is one of the naughtier ones see if 1:26 you can guess it 1:28 splendidly it hangs by a man's thigh 1:31 under the master's cloak 1:32 in front is a hole 1:35 it is stiff and hard it has a godly 1:37 place 1:38 when the young man his own garment lifts 1:41 over his knee he wishes to visit with 1:43 the head of what hangs the familiar hull 1:45 he had often filled with its equal 1:47 length 1:49 did you get it that's right the answer 1:51 is 1:52 a key 1:53 and if your brain went anywhere else you 1:55 clearly need jesus the answer is a key 1:58 because it would hang under his cloak 2:00 probably on a chain tied around the 2:02 waist it's hard because the key is made 2:04 from metal and it has to be lifted up 2:06 and entered into a keyhole 2:12 joke books 2:14 these next two jokes are from francesco 2:17 petraka who was one of the first great 2:19 italian humanists the first is actually 2:22 a joke from ancient rome but it was very 2:24 popular with the medievals and was found 2:26 in one of leonardo da vinci's notebooks 2:28 the first joke goes that the famous 2:30 artist lucius mallius had very ugly 2:33 children he was dining with a friend who 2:35 saw the children and remarked 2:37 your children are not as attractive as 2:39 your paintings mallius to which mallius 2:41 replied well that's true but it's 2:43 because i make pictures in the daylight 2:45 and children in the dark 2:48 another joke was about the poet dante 2:50 who was well known throughout his life 2:51 for his sharp humor dante was dining 2:54 with some guests from the nobility the 2:56 lord of the manor was stuffed full with 2:58 wine and food and was sweating profusely 3:01 he wouldn't stop talking and was saying 3:03 all sorts of stupid pointless things and 3:05 much of it was lies 3:07 dante quietly listened for a long time 3:10 indignant finally believing that dante's 3:13 silence meant that he approved of his 3:14 chatter the lord grabbed hold of dante 3:16 with his sweaty hand and said 3:18 what don't you agree that a man who 3:20 speaks the truth doesn't have to work at 3:22 it to which dante quickly replied i was 3:25 just wondering why you were sweating so 3:27 much 3:28 but it was poggio brachiolini who 3:31 provided us with his most famous joke 3:33 book that is still read today poggio was 3:35 an italian scholar who spent a lot of 3:37 his life working for the papacy where he 3:39 served a total of seven popes 3:42 he printed the fasishi which translates 3:44 from the latin as the word humor his 3:47 first anthology of jokes in 1470 which 3:50 he wrote because he believed that quote 3:52 it is proper and almost a matter of 3:54 necessity that our mind weighed down by 3:57 a variety of cares and anxieties should 4:00 now and then enjoy relaxation from its 4:02 constant labor and be incited to 4:04 cheerfulness and mirth by some humorous 4:07 recreation 4:08 most of the jokes are directed at 4:10 corrupt clergymen stupid peasants and 4:12 the quote insatiable sexual appetites of 4:15 women the following are a few of the 4:18 stories found in his book 4:23 naughty girl 4:24 a young florentine woman was about to 4:27 give birth she was in a lot of pain so 4:29 the midwife with a candle in her hand 4:31 bent down to have a look at the woman's 4:33 private parts to see if the baby was 4:34 coming look on the other side said the 4:37 poor woman my husband has sometimes 4:39 taken that road 4:41 the fat abbott 4:44 the abbot of septimo was quite the 4:46 corpulent man or in other words 4:47 incredibly fat he was on his way into 4:50 florence one evening when he asked the 4:51 peasant 4:52 do you think i will be able to enter the 4:54 gate what he actually meant was do you 4:56 think i will be able to get to the city 4:58 before they close the gates for the 4:59 night 5:00 but the country worker who had noticed 5:02 the man's size said 5:04 of course you will a cart load of hay 5:06 can get through so why shouldn't you 5:10 the bird net 5:11 a florentine youth went down to the 5:13 river arno with one of the nets that the 5:15 women used to wash wool a young boy who 5:18 saw him there asked 5:19 what sort of birds are you gonna catch 5:21 with that net the youth replied i'm 5:24 going to the outlet of the brothel to 5:25 spread my net there and catch your 5:27 mother then be sure to search carefully 5:29 the boy snapped back for you will surely 5:31 find yours there too 5:33 which isn't too different to the 5:34 conversations i had as a kid 5:38 the bishop's teeth 5:40 there was an old bishop who complained 5:41 that he had lost many teeth of the ones 5:43 he had left they were loose and he was 5:45 afraid that they would fall out soon as 5:47 well don't be afraid they won't fall 5:49 assured one of his friends and why not 5:52 ask the bishop 5:53 his friend answered because my testicles 5:56 have been hanging loose for over 40 5:58 years as though they were going to fall 5:59 off but here they still are 6:02 the depth 6:03 a florentine man that i knew was in rome 6:06 and needed to buy a horse he went to the 6:08 trader who wanted 25 gold ducats in cash 6:11 price was far too high for my friend so 6:14 he made a counteroffer of 15 ducats cash 6:17 and owe the rest the trader agreed the 6:20 following day the horse dealer asked the 6:22 outstanding balance but my friend 6:24 refused to pay it saying 6:26 it was settled we had an agreement that 6:27 i was to be your debtor if i was to pay 6:29 you then i would no longer be so 6:34 little old wine drinker me 6:36 an eminent wine connoisseur caught a 6:38 fever which made him even thirstier than 6:40 usual 6:41 several doctors came to help him and 6:43 were discussing how to rid the sick man 6:45 of both his fever and his thirst 6:47 busy yourselves with the fever only said 6:49 the man i'll take good care of the 6:51 thirst 6:53 child prodigy 6:55 a roman cardinal named angelotto had a 6:58 nasty disposition 6:59 during pope eugene's visit to florence a 7:02 very clever 10 year old child paid him a 7:03 compliment angelotto was astonished at 7:06 the child's enthusiasm and questioned 7:08 him closely but the child was able to 7:10 answer each question correctly cardinal 7:13 angelotto turned to his assistants and 7:15 said those who show such wit and 7:17 proficiency from childhood when they get 7:19 older their intelligence declines and 7:21 they become fools in their old age quick 7:24 as a flash the child replied well then 7:26 you must have been outstanding in wisdom 7:28 and knowledge when you were young 7:30 finding wisdom 7:32 the very famous bolognese doctor 7:34 giovanni andrea was having intercourse 7:36 with his maidservant when he was caught 7:38 by his wife 7:40 the lady was horrified at the unwanted 7:41 scandal and asked her husband where now 7:44 giovanni is that precious wisdom 7:47 here in this hall was his quick reply 7:49 and very comfortable it is too 7:51 [Music] 7:53 unbelievable 7:55 a priest was preaching a sermon to his 7:57 congregation he was telling the story of 8:00 jesus when he fed the five thousand with 8:02 just five loaves of bread 8:04 but the priest said five hundred people 8:06 by mistake instead of five thousand 8:08 his clerk quickly whispered to him 8:10 calling attention to his slip up but the 8:12 priest turned to him saying be quiet you 8:14 full they'll find it hard enough to 8:16 believe it was 500. 8:20 always tell the truth 8:22 two friends were out together walking 8:24 along the streets of florence one of 8:26 them who was tall but plump and with a 8:28 weathered complexion noticed a young 8:30 woman passing by with her mother 8:32 there passes a charming and lovely 8:34 beauty he said jokingly a shame that 8:37 cannot be said of you the girl retorted 8:39 perfectly yes it could the man answered 8:41 if a person lied just as i have done 8:46 little piggy 8:47 at a village in the region of pacino it 8:49 was tradition that when a pig was killed 8:51 in the winter that everyone in the 8:53 neighborhood was to be invited to dinner 8:55 one particularly mean farmer wanted to 8:57 avoid the expense and asked his friend 8:59 what he should do 9:00 tomorrow you need to tell everybody that 9:03 your pig has been stolen during the 9:04 night said his friend and that is 9:07 exactly what his friend did he stole the 9:09 farmer's pig that night without his 9:10 knowledge the next day the farmer 9:12 realized that his pig was missing and 9:14 ran straight to his friend's house 9:16 shouting that his pig had been stolen 9:18 well done said his friend that's exactly 9:20 what i told you to say 9:23 catching the breeze 9:25 cardinal diconti was a very corpulent 9:28 man who had been out hunting at noon he 9:30 came to the table for dinner as it was 9:33 the height of summer he was perspiring a 9:34 lot and asked for someone to call him 9:36 down with a fan the servants had all 9:39 left the room so he turned to avado lupi 9:41 the apostolic secretary to help him i'm 9:44 not sure how to help you said the 9:46 secretary 9:47 never mind said the cardinal just do 9:49 whatever you think will work 9:51 with that the secretary lifted his leg 9:53 and let out the most booming fart from 9:55 the very depths of his bowels saying 9:57 that is how i make a breeze for myself 10:00 everyone in attendance naturally fell 10:02 into fits of laughter 10:04 [Music] 10:06 hair today gone tomorrow 10:08 and this final joke was written by the 10:10 14th century belgium poet jean de cund a 10:14 game of truth was being played at court 10:15 by the queen and her entourage the queen 10:18 asks one of the knights have you 10:20 fathered any children to which he 10:22 replies i am afraid not 10:24 the queen nods in agreement and says 10:27 yes you do not look like the sort of man 10:29 that could please a woman when you hold 10:30 her naked in your arms your little beard 10:32 is just like the sort of fuzz that a 10:34 woman has in a private place and it is 10:36 easy to see from the condition of the 10:37 hay whether the pitchfork is any good 10:40 quickly the knight asks lady answer me 10:43 truthfully is there any hair between 10:45 your legs to which the queen answers 10:47 none at all 10:49 quickly the knight snaps back i believe 10:51 you four grass does not grow on a 10:53 well-beaten path 10:56 thank you for watching this episode of 10:57 medieval madness a little different from 10:59 my usual format so please let us know 11:01 below if you enjoyed it and leave a 11:03 comment with your favorite jokes i'd 11:04 love to read them medieval or otherwise 11:06 hope everyone has a fantastic week 11:08 cheers
A Knight, a Bishop and a Queen walk onto an old dusty chessboard....
BTTT
made me look
“Turning water into wine” was a very funny phrase during Roman times indicating urinating after drinking. It is believed by some biblical scholars ,it was inserted into the bible as a joke. True fact.
4th grade humor rulz yet?
How is there not a compendium of Chinese humor over the millennia?
Yeahhhhhh, I'm thinking you got that backwards: "turning WINE into WATER" is probably the joke, as water into wine (urination after drinking) doesn't make sense.
Compare the infamous Archie Bunker one-liner: "You don't buy beer, you RENT it!"
And water into wine is recorded in the Bible because it was a miracle to prove that Jesus was who he said.
“water into wine”
Goes against the flow.
Thus miracle v. mundane.
Not directly from the middle ages (Alexander Pope):
In Imitation of Chaucer
Women ben full of Ragerie,
Yet swinken not sans secresie.
Thilke Moral shall ye understond,
From Schoole-boy’s Tale of fayre Irelond:
Which to the Fennes hath him betake,
To filch the gray Ducke fro the Lake.
Right then, there passen by the Way
His Aunt, and eke her Daughters tway.
Ducke in his Trowses hath he hent,
Not to be spied of Ladies gent.
“But ho! our Nephew,” (crieth one)
“Ho!” quoth another, “Cozen John;”
And stoppen, and lough, and callen out, —
This sely Clerk full low doth lout:
They asken that, and talken this,
“Lo here is Coz, and here is Miss.”
But, as he glozeth with Speeches soote,
The Ducke sore tickleth his Erse-roote:
Fore-piece and buttons all-to-brest,
Forth thrust a white neck, and red crest.
“Te-he,” cry’d Ladies; Clerke nought spake:
Miss star’d; and gray Ducke crieth Quake.
“O Moder, Moder,” (quoth the daughter)
“Be thilke same thing Maids longer a’ter?
“Bette is to pyne on coals and chalke,
“Then trust on Mon, whose yerde can talke.”
Ha! That’s a keeper.
Gullible is written on the wall.
Wish I’da seen this yesterday. It could have been the new home of the Undead Thread.
Maybe I’ll bookmark it, with your permission, and try to pull it out when we get to around 4000 posts.
‘Face
;o]
Canterbury Tales is pretty funny even 600+ years later!..................
later
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