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0:01what did people in the middle ages
0:03really find funny it would seem that
0:06these same things have been found to be
0:08amusing right across the ages many of
0:10the riddles that the medievals told have
0:12double entendres and the jokes are rude
0:14with references to sex and bodily
0:17functions no one was exempt from being
0:19the target of a medieval joke stupid
0:22husbands unfaithful wives bishops
0:24royalty even yo mama in today's episode
0:27we're going to try something a little
0:28different and reel off a compilation of
0:31medieval jokes and humor
0:33welcome to medieval madness
0:47rude riddles
0:49a very famous manuscript was written in
0:52anglo-saxon england in around the late
0:5410th century the anthology of poetry
0:57written in old english is known as the
0:58exeter book many of these riddles are
1:01instructive in nature and because the
1:03book was written down by catholic monks
1:05the answers usually involve animals or
1:07things that occur in the natural world
1:09but in amongst these moral riddles are
1:11several brain teasers with sexual
1:13overtones and that might feel strange
1:15when we consider these monks were
1:17supposedly pious and pure in thought
1:20let's face it dirty riddles aren't
1:21really much different to dirty jokes
1:23here is one of the naughtier ones see if
1:26you can guess it
1:28splendidly it hangs by a man's thigh
1:31under the master's cloak
1:32in front is a hole
1:35it is stiff and hard it has a godly
1:37place
1:38when the young man his own garment lifts
1:41over his knee he wishes to visit with
1:43the head of what hangs the familiar hull
1:45he had often filled with its equal
1:47length
1:49did you get it that's right the answer
1:51is
1:52a key
1:53and if your brain went anywhere else you
1:55clearly need jesus the answer is a key
1:58because it would hang under his cloak
2:00probably on a chain tied around the
2:02waist it's hard because the key is made
2:04from metal and it has to be lifted up
2:06and entered into a keyhole
2:12joke books
2:14these next two jokes are from francesco
2:17petraka who was one of the first great
2:19italian humanists the first is actually
2:22a joke from ancient rome but it was very
2:24popular with the medievals and was found
2:26in one of leonardo da vinci's notebooks
2:28the first joke goes that the famous
2:30artist lucius mallius had very ugly
2:33children he was dining with a friend who
2:35saw the children and remarked
2:37your children are not as attractive as
2:39your paintings mallius to which mallius
2:41replied well that's true but it's
2:43because i make pictures in the daylight
2:45and children in the dark
2:48another joke was about the poet dante
2:50who was well known throughout his life
2:51for his sharp humor dante was dining
2:54with some guests from the nobility the
2:56lord of the manor was stuffed full with
2:58wine and food and was sweating profusely
3:01he wouldn't stop talking and was saying
3:03all sorts of stupid pointless things and
3:05much of it was lies
3:07dante quietly listened for a long time
3:10indignant finally believing that dante's
3:13silence meant that he approved of his
3:14chatter the lord grabbed hold of dante
3:16with his sweaty hand and said
3:18what don't you agree that a man who
3:20speaks the truth doesn't have to work at
3:22it to which dante quickly replied i was
3:25just wondering why you were sweating so
3:27much
3:28but it was poggio brachiolini who
3:31provided us with his most famous joke
3:33book that is still read today poggio was
3:35an italian scholar who spent a lot of
3:37his life working for the papacy where he
3:39served a total of seven popes
3:42he printed the fasishi which translates
3:44from the latin as the word humor his
3:47first anthology of jokes in 1470 which
3:50he wrote because he believed that quote
3:52it is proper and almost a matter of
3:54necessity that our mind weighed down by
3:57a variety of cares and anxieties should
4:00now and then enjoy relaxation from its
4:02constant labor and be incited to
4:04cheerfulness and mirth by some humorous
4:07recreation
4:08most of the jokes are directed at
4:10corrupt clergymen stupid peasants and
4:12the quote insatiable sexual appetites of
4:15women the following are a few of the
4:18stories found in his book
4:23naughty girl
4:24a young florentine woman was about to
4:27give birth she was in a lot of pain so
4:29the midwife with a candle in her hand
4:31bent down to have a look at the woman's
4:33private parts to see if the baby was
4:34coming look on the other side said the
4:37poor woman my husband has sometimes
4:39taken that road
4:41the fat abbott
4:44the abbot of septimo was quite the
4:46corpulent man or in other words
4:47incredibly fat he was on his way into
4:50florence one evening when he asked the
4:51peasant
4:52do you think i will be able to enter the
4:54gate what he actually meant was do you
4:56think i will be able to get to the city
4:58before they close the gates for the
4:59night
5:00but the country worker who had noticed
5:02the man's size said
5:04of course you will a cart load of hay
5:06can get through so why shouldn't you
5:10the bird net
5:11a florentine youth went down to the
5:13river arno with one of the nets that the
5:15women used to wash wool a young boy who
5:18saw him there asked
5:19what sort of birds are you gonna catch
5:21with that net the youth replied i'm
5:24going to the outlet of the brothel to
5:25spread my net there and catch your
5:27mother then be sure to search carefully
5:29the boy snapped back for you will surely
5:31find yours there too
5:33which isn't too different to the
5:34conversations i had as a kid
5:38the bishop's teeth
5:40there was an old bishop who complained
5:41that he had lost many teeth of the ones
5:43he had left they were loose and he was
5:45afraid that they would fall out soon as
5:47well don't be afraid they won't fall
5:49assured one of his friends and why not
5:52ask the bishop
5:53his friend answered because my testicles
5:56have been hanging loose for over 40
5:58years as though they were going to fall
5:59off but here they still are
6:02the depth
6:03a florentine man that i knew was in rome
6:06and needed to buy a horse he went to the
6:08trader who wanted 25 gold ducats in cash
6:11price was far too high for my friend so
6:14he made a counteroffer of 15 ducats cash
6:17and owe the rest the trader agreed the
6:20following day the horse dealer asked the
6:22outstanding balance but my friend
6:24refused to pay it saying
6:26it was settled we had an agreement that
6:27i was to be your debtor if i was to pay
6:29you then i would no longer be so
6:34little old wine drinker me
6:36an eminent wine connoisseur caught a
6:38fever which made him even thirstier than
6:40usual
6:41several doctors came to help him and
6:43were discussing how to rid the sick man
6:45of both his fever and his thirst
6:47busy yourselves with the fever only said
6:49the man i'll take good care of the
6:51thirst
6:53child prodigy
6:55a roman cardinal named angelotto had a
6:58nasty disposition
6:59during pope eugene's visit to florence a
7:02very clever 10 year old child paid him a
7:03compliment angelotto was astonished at
7:06the child's enthusiasm and questioned
7:08him closely but the child was able to
7:10answer each question correctly cardinal
7:13angelotto turned to his assistants and
7:15said those who show such wit and
7:17proficiency from childhood when they get
7:19older their intelligence declines and
7:21they become fools in their old age quick
7:24as a flash the child replied well then
7:26you must have been outstanding in wisdom
7:28and knowledge when you were young
7:30finding wisdom
7:32the very famous bolognese doctor
7:34giovanni andrea was having intercourse
7:36with his maidservant when he was caught
7:38by his wife
7:40the lady was horrified at the unwanted
7:41scandal and asked her husband where now
7:44giovanni is that precious wisdom
7:47here in this hall was his quick reply
7:49and very comfortable it is too
7:51[Music]
7:53unbelievable
7:55a priest was preaching a sermon to his
7:57congregation he was telling the story of
8:00jesus when he fed the five thousand with
8:02just five loaves of bread
8:04but the priest said five hundred people
8:06by mistake instead of five thousand
8:08his clerk quickly whispered to him
8:10calling attention to his slip up but the
8:12priest turned to him saying be quiet you
8:14full they'll find it hard enough to
8:16believe it was 500.
8:20always tell the truth
8:22two friends were out together walking
8:24along the streets of florence one of
8:26them who was tall but plump and with a
8:28weathered complexion noticed a young
8:30woman passing by with her mother
8:32there passes a charming and lovely
8:34beauty he said jokingly a shame that
8:37cannot be said of you the girl retorted
8:39perfectly yes it could the man answered
8:41if a person lied just as i have done
8:46little piggy
8:47at a village in the region of pacino it
8:49was tradition that when a pig was killed
8:51in the winter that everyone in the
8:53neighborhood was to be invited to dinner
8:55one particularly mean farmer wanted to
8:57avoid the expense and asked his friend
8:59what he should do
9:00tomorrow you need to tell everybody that
9:03your pig has been stolen during the
9:04night said his friend and that is
9:07exactly what his friend did he stole the
9:09farmer's pig that night without his
9:10knowledge the next day the farmer
9:12realized that his pig was missing and
9:14ran straight to his friend's house
9:16shouting that his pig had been stolen
9:18well done said his friend that's exactly
9:20what i told you to say
9:23catching the breeze
9:25cardinal diconti was a very corpulent
9:28man who had been out hunting at noon he
9:30came to the table for dinner as it was
9:33the height of summer he was perspiring a
9:34lot and asked for someone to call him
9:36down with a fan the servants had all
9:39left the room so he turned to avado lupi
9:41the apostolic secretary to help him i'm
9:44not sure how to help you said the
9:46secretary
9:47never mind said the cardinal just do
9:49whatever you think will work
9:51with that the secretary lifted his leg
9:53and let out the most booming fart from
9:55the very depths of his bowels saying
9:57that is how i make a breeze for myself
10:00everyone in attendance naturally fell
10:02into fits of laughter
10:04[Music]
10:06hair today gone tomorrow
10:08and this final joke was written by the
10:1014th century belgium poet jean de cund a
10:14game of truth was being played at court
10:15by the queen and her entourage the queen
10:18asks one of the knights have you
10:20fathered any children to which he
10:22replies i am afraid not
10:24the queen nods in agreement and says
10:27yes you do not look like the sort of man
10:29that could please a woman when you hold
10:30her naked in your arms your little beard
10:32is just like the sort of fuzz that a
10:34woman has in a private place and it is
10:36easy to see from the condition of the
10:37hay whether the pitchfork is any good
10:40quickly the knight asks lady answer me
10:43truthfully is there any hair between
10:45your legs to which the queen answers
10:47none at all
10:49quickly the knight snaps back i believe
10:51you four grass does not grow on a
10:53well-beaten path
10:56thank you for watching this episode of
10:57medieval madness a little different from
10:59my usual format so please let us know
11:01below if you enjoyed it and leave a
11:03comment with your favorite jokes i'd
11:04love to read them medieval or otherwise
11:06hope everyone has a fantastic week
11:08cheers

1 posted on 01/16/2023 10:22:50 PM PST by SunkenCiv
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To: SunkenCiv

A Knight, a Bishop and a Queen walk onto an old dusty chessboard....


4 posted on 01/16/2023 10:29:53 PM PST by lee martell
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To: SunkenCiv

BTTT


6 posted on 01/16/2023 10:45:35 PM PST by nopardons
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To: SunkenCiv

“Turning water into wine” was a very funny phrase during Roman times indicating urinating after drinking. It is believed by some biblical scholars ,it was inserted into the bible as a joke. True fact.


8 posted on 01/16/2023 10:59:53 PM PST by DeathBeforeDishonor1 ( )
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To: SunkenCiv

4th grade humor rulz yet?

How is there not a compendium of Chinese humor over the millennia?


9 posted on 01/16/2023 11:04:01 PM PST by Paladin2
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To: SunkenCiv

Not directly from the middle ages (Alexander Pope):

In Imitation of Chaucer

Women ben full of Ragerie,
Yet swinken not sans secresie.
Thilke Moral shall ye understond,
From Schoole-boy’s Tale of fayre Irelond:
Which to the Fennes hath him betake,
To filch the gray Ducke fro the Lake.
Right then, there passen by the Way
His Aunt, and eke her Daughters tway.
Ducke in his Trowses hath he hent,
Not to be spied of Ladies gent.
“But ho! our Nephew,” (crieth one)
“Ho!” quoth another, “Cozen John;”
And stoppen, and lough, and callen out, —
This sely Clerk full low doth lout:
They asken that, and talken this,
“Lo here is Coz, and here is Miss.”
But, as he glozeth with Speeches soote,
The Ducke sore tickleth his Erse-roote:
Fore-piece and buttons all-to-brest,
Forth thrust a white neck, and red crest.
“Te-he,” cry’d Ladies; Clerke nought spake:
Miss star’d; and gray Ducke crieth Quake.
“O Moder, Moder,” (quoth the daughter)
“Be thilke same thing Maids longer a’ter?
“Bette is to pyne on coals and chalke,
“Then trust on Mon, whose yerde can talke.”


13 posted on 01/17/2023 2:27:29 AM PST by paint_your_wagon
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To: SunkenCiv

Gullible is written on the wall.


15 posted on 01/17/2023 4:23:28 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: SunkenCiv

Wish I’da seen this yesterday. It could have been the new home of the Undead Thread.

Maybe I’ll bookmark it, with your permission, and try to pull it out when we get to around 4000 posts.

‘Face

;o]


16 posted on 01/17/2023 4:46:08 AM PST by Monkey Face ( ~~ Only people who aren't happy with themselves are mean to others. ~~ Anonymous)
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To: SunkenCiv

later


19 posted on 01/17/2023 5:29:40 AM PST by vladimir998 ( Apparently I'm still living in your head rent free. At least now it isn't empty.)
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To: SunkenCiv

Chaucer made a fair number of fart jokes.


33 posted on 01/17/2023 3:52:25 PM PST by Albion Wilde ("There is no good government at all & none possible."--Mark Twain)
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To: SunkenCiv
Moth Joke
34 posted on 01/17/2023 4:54:42 PM PST by Sawdring
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