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Transcript
0:01 what did people in the middle ages
0:03 really find funny it would seem that
0:06 these same things have been found to be
0:08 amusing right across the ages many of
0:10 the riddles that the medievals told have
0:12 double entendres and the jokes are rude
0:14 with references to sex and bodily
0:17 functions no one was exempt from being
0:19 the target of a medieval joke stupid
0:22 husbands unfaithful wives bishops
0:24 royalty even yo mama in today's episode
0:27 we're going to try something a little
0:28 different and reel off a compilation of
0:31 medieval jokes and humor
0:33 welcome to medieval madness
0:47 rude riddles
0:49 a very famous manuscript was written in
0:52 anglo-saxon england in around the late
0:54 10th century the anthology of poetry
0:57 written in old english is known as the
0:58 exeter book many of these riddles are
1:01 instructive in nature and because the
1:03 book was written down by catholic monks
1:05 the answers usually involve animals or
1:07 things that occur in the natural world
1:09 but in amongst these moral riddles are
1:11 several brain teasers with sexual
1:13 overtones and that might feel strange
1:15 when we consider these monks were
1:17 supposedly pious and pure in thought
1:20 let's face it dirty riddles aren't
1:21 really much different to dirty jokes
1:23 here is one of the naughtier ones see if
1:26 you can guess it
1:28 splendidly it hangs by a man's thigh
1:31 under the master's cloak
1:32 in front is a hole
1:35 it is stiff and hard it has a godly
1:37 place
1:38 when the young man his own garment lifts
1:41 over his knee he wishes to visit with
1:43 the head of what hangs the familiar hull
1:45 he had often filled with its equal
1:47 length
1:49 did you get it that's right the answer
1:51 is
1:52 a key
1:53 and if your brain went anywhere else you
1:55 clearly need jesus the answer is a key
1:58 because it would hang under his cloak
2:00 probably on a chain tied around the
2:02 waist it's hard because the key is made
2:04 from metal and it has to be lifted up
2:06 and entered into a keyhole
2:12 joke books
2:14 these next two jokes are from francesco
2:17 petraka who was one of the first great
2:19 italian humanists the first is actually
2:22 a joke from ancient rome but it was very
2:24 popular with the medievals and was found
2:26 in one of leonardo da vinci's notebooks
2:28 the first joke goes that the famous
2:30 artist lucius mallius had very ugly
2:33 children he was dining with a friend who
2:35 saw the children and remarked
2:37 your children are not as attractive as
2:39 your paintings mallius to which mallius
2:41 replied well that's true but it's
2:43 because i make pictures in the daylight
2:45 and children in the dark
2:48 another joke was about the poet dante
2:50 who was well known throughout his life
2:51 for his sharp humor dante was dining
2:54 with some guests from the nobility the
2:56 lord of the manor was stuffed full with
2:58 wine and food and was sweating profusely
3:01 he wouldn't stop talking and was saying
3:03 all sorts of stupid pointless things and
3:05 much of it was lies
3:07 dante quietly listened for a long time
3:10 indignant finally believing that dante's
3:13 silence meant that he approved of his
3:14 chatter the lord grabbed hold of dante
3:16 with his sweaty hand and said
3:18 what don't you agree that a man who
3:20 speaks the truth doesn't have to work at
3:22 it to which dante quickly replied i was
3:25 just wondering why you were sweating so
3:27 much
3:28 but it was poggio brachiolini who
3:31 provided us with his most famous joke
3:33 book that is still read today poggio was
3:35 an italian scholar who spent a lot of
3:37 his life working for the papacy where he
3:39 served a total of seven popes
3:42 he printed the fasishi which translates
3:44 from the latin as the word humor his
3:47 first anthology of jokes in 1470 which
3:50 he wrote because he believed that quote
3:52 it is proper and almost a matter of
3:54 necessity that our mind weighed down by
3:57 a variety of cares and anxieties should
4:00 now and then enjoy relaxation from its
4:02 constant labor and be incited to
4:04 cheerfulness and mirth by some humorous
4:07 recreation
4:08 most of the jokes are directed at
4:10 corrupt clergymen stupid peasants and
4:12 the quote insatiable sexual appetites of
4:15 women the following are a few of the
4:18 stories found in his book
4:23 naughty girl
4:24 a young florentine woman was about to
4:27 give birth she was in a lot of pain so
4:29 the midwife with a candle in her hand
4:31 bent down to have a look at the woman's
4:33 private parts to see if the baby was
4:34 coming look on the other side said the
4:37 poor woman my husband has sometimes
4:39 taken that road
4:41 the fat abbott
4:44 the abbot of septimo was quite the
4:46 corpulent man or in other words
4:47 incredibly fat he was on his way into
4:50 florence one evening when he asked the
4:51 peasant
4:52 do you think i will be able to enter the
4:54 gate what he actually meant was do you
4:56 think i will be able to get to the city
4:58 before they close the gates for the
4:59 night
5:00 but the country worker who had noticed
5:02 the man's size said
5:04 of course you will a cart load of hay
5:06 can get through so why shouldn't you
5:10 the bird net
5:11 a florentine youth went down to the
5:13 river arno with one of the nets that the
5:15 women used to wash wool a young boy who
5:18 saw him there asked
5:19 what sort of birds are you gonna catch
5:21 with that net the youth replied i'm
5:24 going to the outlet of the brothel to
5:25 spread my net there and catch your
5:27 mother then be sure to search carefully
5:29 the boy snapped back for you will surely
5:31 find yours there too
5:33 which isn't too different to the
5:34 conversations i had as a kid
5:38 the bishop's teeth
5:40 there was an old bishop who complained
5:41 that he had lost many teeth of the ones
5:43 he had left they were loose and he was
5:45 afraid that they would fall out soon as
5:47 well don't be afraid they won't fall
5:49 assured one of his friends and why not
5:52 ask the bishop
5:53 his friend answered because my testicles
5:56 have been hanging loose for over 40
5:58 years as though they were going to fall
5:59 off but here they still are
6:02 the depth
6:03 a florentine man that i knew was in rome
6:06 and needed to buy a horse he went to the
6:08 trader who wanted 25 gold ducats in cash
6:11 price was far too high for my friend so
6:14 he made a counteroffer of 15 ducats cash
6:17 and owe the rest the trader agreed the
6:20 following day the horse dealer asked the
6:22 outstanding balance but my friend
6:24 refused to pay it saying
6:26 it was settled we had an agreement that
6:27 i was to be your debtor if i was to pay
6:29 you then i would no longer be so
6:34 little old wine drinker me
6:36 an eminent wine connoisseur caught a
6:38 fever which made him even thirstier than
6:40 usual
6:41 several doctors came to help him and
6:43 were discussing how to rid the sick man
6:45 of both his fever and his thirst
6:47 busy yourselves with the fever only said
6:49 the man i'll take good care of the
6:51 thirst
6:53 child prodigy
6:55 a roman cardinal named angelotto had a
6:58 nasty disposition
6:59 during pope eugene's visit to florence a
7:02 very clever 10 year old child paid him a
7:03 compliment angelotto was astonished at
7:06 the child's enthusiasm and questioned
7:08 him closely but the child was able to
7:10 answer each question correctly cardinal
7:13 angelotto turned to his assistants and
7:15 said those who show such wit and
7:17 proficiency from childhood when they get
7:19 older their intelligence declines and
7:21 they become fools in their old age quick
7:24 as a flash the child replied well then
7:26 you must have been outstanding in wisdom
7:28 and knowledge when you were young
7:30 finding wisdom
7:32 the very famous bolognese doctor
7:34 giovanni andrea was having intercourse
7:36 with his maidservant when he was caught
7:38 by his wife
7:40 the lady was horrified at the unwanted
7:41 scandal and asked her husband where now
7:44 giovanni is that precious wisdom
7:47 here in this hall was his quick reply
7:49 and very comfortable it is too
7:51 [Music]
7:53 unbelievable
7:55 a priest was preaching a sermon to his
7:57 congregation he was telling the story of
8:00 jesus when he fed the five thousand with
8:02 just five loaves of bread
8:04 but the priest said five hundred people
8:06 by mistake instead of five thousand
8:08 his clerk quickly whispered to him
8:10 calling attention to his slip up but the
8:12 priest turned to him saying be quiet you
8:14 full they'll find it hard enough to
8:16 believe it was 500.
8:20 always tell the truth
8:22 two friends were out together walking
8:24 along the streets of florence one of
8:26 them who was tall but plump and with a
8:28 weathered complexion noticed a young
8:30 woman passing by with her mother
8:32 there passes a charming and lovely
8:34 beauty he said jokingly a shame that
8:37 cannot be said of you the girl retorted
8:39 perfectly yes it could the man answered
8:41 if a person lied just as i have done
8:46 little piggy
8:47 at a village in the region of pacino it
8:49 was tradition that when a pig was killed
8:51 in the winter that everyone in the
8:53 neighborhood was to be invited to dinner
8:55 one particularly mean farmer wanted to
8:57 avoid the expense and asked his friend
8:59 what he should do
9:00 tomorrow you need to tell everybody that
9:03 your pig has been stolen during the
9:04 night said his friend and that is
9:07 exactly what his friend did he stole the
9:09 farmer's pig that night without his
9:10 knowledge the next day the farmer
9:12 realized that his pig was missing and
9:14 ran straight to his friend's house
9:16 shouting that his pig had been stolen
9:18 well done said his friend that's exactly
9:20 what i told you to say
9:23 catching the breeze
9:25 cardinal diconti was a very corpulent
9:28 man who had been out hunting at noon he
9:30 came to the table for dinner as it was
9:33 the height of summer he was perspiring a
9:34 lot and asked for someone to call him
9:36 down with a fan the servants had all
9:39 left the room so he turned to avado lupi
9:41 the apostolic secretary to help him i'm
9:44 not sure how to help you said the
9:46 secretary
9:47 never mind said the cardinal just do
9:49 whatever you think will work
9:51 with that the secretary lifted his leg
9:53 and let out the most booming fart from
9:55 the very depths of his bowels saying
9:57 that is how i make a breeze for myself
10:00 everyone in attendance naturally fell
10:02 into fits of laughter
10:04 [Music]
10:06 hair today gone tomorrow
10:08 and this final joke was written by the
10:10 14th century belgium poet jean de cund a
10:14 game of truth was being played at court
10:15 by the queen and her entourage the queen
10:18 asks one of the knights have you
10:20 fathered any children to which he
10:22 replies i am afraid not
10:24 the queen nods in agreement and says
10:27 yes you do not look like the sort of man
10:29 that could please a woman when you hold
10:30 her naked in your arms your little beard
10:32 is just like the sort of fuzz that a
10:34 woman has in a private place and it is
10:36 easy to see from the condition of the
10:37 hay whether the pitchfork is any good
10:40 quickly the knight asks lady answer me
10:43 truthfully is there any hair between
10:45 your legs to which the queen answers
10:47 none at all
10:49 quickly the knight snaps back i believe
10:51 you four grass does not grow on a
10:53 well-beaten path
10:56 thank you for watching this episode of
10:57 medieval madness a little different from
10:59 my usual format so please let us know
11:01 below if you enjoyed it and leave a
11:03 comment with your favorite jokes i'd
11:04 love to read them medieval or otherwise
11:06 hope everyone has a fantastic week
11:08 cheers

Transcript
0:01	what did people in the middle ages
0:03	really find funny it would seem that
0:06	these same things have been found to be
0:08	amusing right across the ages many of
0:10	the riddles that the medievals told have
0:12	double entendres and the jokes are rude
0:14	with references to sex and bodily
0:17	functions no one was exempt from being
0:19	the target of a medieval joke stupid
0:22	husbands unfaithful wives bishops
0:24	royalty even yo mama in today's episode
0:27	we're going to try something a little
0:28	different and reel off a compilation of
0:31	medieval jokes and humor
0:33	welcome to medieval madness
0:47	rude riddles
0:49	a very famous manuscript was written in
0:52	anglo-saxon england in around the late
0:54	10th century the anthology of poetry
0:57	written in old english is known as the
0:58	exeter book many of these riddles are
1:01	instructive in nature and because the
1:03	book was written down by catholic monks
1:05	the answers usually involve animals or
1:07	things that occur in the natural world
1:09	but in amongst these moral riddles are
1:11	several brain teasers with sexual
1:13	overtones and that might feel strange
1:15	when we consider these monks were
1:17	supposedly pious and pure in thought
1:20	let's face it dirty riddles aren't
1:21	really much different to dirty jokes
1:23	here is one of the naughtier ones see if
1:26	you can guess it
1:28	splendidly it hangs by a man's thigh
1:31	under the master's cloak
1:32	in front is a hole
1:35	it is stiff and hard it has a godly
1:37	place
1:38	when the young man his own garment lifts
1:41	over his knee he wishes to visit with
1:43	the head of what hangs the familiar hull
1:45	he had often filled with its equal
1:47	length
1:49	did you get it that's right the answer
1:51	is
1:52	a key
1:53	and if your brain went anywhere else you
1:55	clearly need jesus the answer is a key
1:58	because it would hang under his cloak
2:00	probably on a chain tied around the
2:02	waist it's hard because the key is made
2:04	from metal and it has to be lifted up
2:06	and entered into a keyhole
2:12	joke books
2:14	these next two jokes are from francesco
2:17	petraka who was one of the first great
2:19	italian humanists the first is actually
2:22	a joke from ancient rome but it was very
2:24	popular with the medievals and was found
2:26	in one of leonardo da vinci's notebooks
2:28	the first joke goes that the famous
2:30	artist lucius mallius had very ugly
2:33	children he was dining with a friend who
2:35	saw the children and remarked
2:37	your children are not as attractive as
2:39	your paintings mallius to which mallius
2:41	replied well that's true but it's
2:43	because i make pictures in the daylight
2:45	and children in the dark
2:48	another joke was about the poet dante
2:50	who was well known throughout his life
2:51	for his sharp humor dante was dining
2:54	with some guests from the nobility the
2:56	lord of the manor was stuffed full with
2:58	wine and food and was sweating profusely
3:01	he wouldn't stop talking and was saying
3:03	all sorts of stupid pointless things and
3:05	much of it was lies
3:07	dante quietly listened for a long time
3:10	indignant finally believing that dante's
3:13	silence meant that he approved of his
3:14	chatter the lord grabbed hold of dante
3:16	with his sweaty hand and said
3:18	what don't you agree that a man who
3:20	speaks the truth doesn't have to work at
3:22	it to which dante quickly replied i was
3:25	just wondering why you were sweating so
3:27	much
3:28	but it was poggio brachiolini who
3:31	provided us with his most famous joke
3:33	book that is still read today poggio was
3:35	an italian scholar who spent a lot of
3:37	his life working for the papacy where he
3:39	served a total of seven popes
3:42	he printed the fasishi which translates
3:44	from the latin as the word humor his
3:47	first anthology of jokes in 1470 which
3:50	he wrote because he believed that quote
3:52	it is proper and almost a matter of
3:54	necessity that our mind weighed down by
3:57	a variety of cares and anxieties should
4:00	now and then enjoy relaxation from its
4:02	constant labor and be incited to
4:04	cheerfulness and mirth by some humorous
4:07	recreation
4:08	most of the jokes are directed at
4:10	corrupt clergymen stupid peasants and
4:12	the quote insatiable sexual appetites of
4:15	women the following are a few of the
4:18	stories found in his book
4:23	naughty girl
4:24	a young florentine woman was about to
4:27	give birth she was in a lot of pain so
4:29	the midwife with a candle in her hand
4:31	bent down to have a look at the woman's
4:33	private parts to see if the baby was
4:34	coming look on the other side said the
4:37	poor woman my husband has sometimes
4:39	taken that road
4:41	the fat abbott
4:44	the abbot of septimo was quite the
4:46	corpulent man or in other words
4:47	incredibly fat he was on his way into
4:50	florence one evening when he asked the
4:51	peasant
4:52	do you think i will be able to enter the
4:54	gate what he actually meant was do you
4:56	think i will be able to get to the city
4:58	before they close the gates for the
4:59	night
5:00	but the country worker who had noticed
5:02	the man's size said
5:04	of course you will a cart load of hay
5:06	can get through so why shouldn't you
5:10	the bird net
5:11	a florentine youth went down to the
5:13	river arno with one of the nets that the
5:15	women used to wash wool a young boy who
5:18	saw him there asked
5:19	what sort of birds are you gonna catch
5:21	with that net the youth replied i'm
5:24	going to the outlet of the brothel to
5:25	spread my net there and catch your
5:27	mother then be sure to search carefully
5:29	the boy snapped back for you will surely
5:31	find yours there too
5:33	which isn't too different to the
5:34	conversations i had as a kid
5:38	the bishop's teeth
5:40	there was an old bishop who complained
5:41	that he had lost many teeth of the ones
5:43	he had left they were loose and he was
5:45	afraid that they would fall out soon as
5:47	well don't be afraid they won't fall
5:49	assured one of his friends and why not
5:52	ask the bishop
5:53	his friend answered because my testicles
5:56	have been hanging loose for over 40
5:58	years as though they were going to fall
5:59	off but here they still are
6:02	the depth
6:03	a florentine man that i knew was in rome
6:06	and needed to buy a horse he went to the
6:08	trader who wanted 25 gold ducats in cash
6:11	price was far too high for my friend so
6:14	he made a counteroffer of 15 ducats cash
6:17	and owe the rest the trader agreed the
6:20	following day the horse dealer asked the
6:22	outstanding balance but my friend
6:24	refused to pay it saying
6:26	it was settled we had an agreement that
6:27	i was to be your debtor if i was to pay
6:29	you then i would no longer be so
6:34	little old wine drinker me
6:36	an eminent wine connoisseur caught a
6:38	fever which made him even thirstier than
6:40	usual
6:41	several doctors came to help him and
6:43	were discussing how to rid the sick man
6:45	of both his fever and his thirst
6:47	busy yourselves with the fever only said
6:49	the man i'll take good care of the
6:51	thirst
6:53	child prodigy
6:55	a roman cardinal named angelotto had a
6:58	nasty disposition
6:59	during pope eugene's visit to florence a
7:02	very clever 10 year old child paid him a
7:03	compliment angelotto was astonished at
7:06	the child's enthusiasm and questioned
7:08	him closely but the child was able to
7:10	answer each question correctly cardinal
7:13	angelotto turned to his assistants and
7:15	said those who show such wit and
7:17	proficiency from childhood when they get
7:19	older their intelligence declines and
7:21	they become fools in their old age quick
7:24	as a flash the child replied well then
7:26	you must have been outstanding in wisdom
7:28	and knowledge when you were young
7:30	finding wisdom
7:32	the very famous bolognese doctor
7:34	giovanni andrea was having intercourse
7:36	with his maidservant when he was caught
7:38	by his wife
7:40	the lady was horrified at the unwanted
7:41	scandal and asked her husband where now
7:44	giovanni is that precious wisdom
7:47	here in this hall was his quick reply
7:49	and very comfortable it is too
7:51	[Music]
7:53	unbelievable
7:55	a priest was preaching a sermon to his
7:57	congregation he was telling the story of
8:00	jesus when he fed the five thousand with
8:02	just five loaves of bread
8:04	but the priest said five hundred people
8:06	by mistake instead of five thousand
8:08	his clerk quickly whispered to him
8:10	calling attention to his slip up but the
8:12	priest turned to him saying be quiet you
8:14	full they'll find it hard enough to
8:16	believe it was 500.
8:20	always tell the truth
8:22	two friends were out together walking
8:24	along the streets of florence one of
8:26	them who was tall but plump and with a
8:28	weathered complexion noticed a young
8:30	woman passing by with her mother
8:32	there passes a charming and lovely
8:34	beauty he said jokingly a shame that
8:37	cannot be said of you the girl retorted
8:39	perfectly yes it could the man answered
8:41	if a person lied just as i have done
8:46	little piggy
8:47	at a village in the region of pacino it
8:49	was tradition that when a pig was killed
8:51	in the winter that everyone in the
8:53	neighborhood was to be invited to dinner
8:55	one particularly mean farmer wanted to
8:57	avoid the expense and asked his friend
8:59	what he should do
9:00	tomorrow you need to tell everybody that
9:03	your pig has been stolen during the
9:04	night said his friend and that is
9:07	exactly what his friend did he stole the
9:09	farmer's pig that night without his
9:10	knowledge the next day the farmer
9:12	realized that his pig was missing and
9:14	ran straight to his friend's house
9:16	shouting that his pig had been stolen
9:18	well done said his friend that's exactly
9:20	what i told you to say
9:23	catching the breeze
9:25	cardinal diconti was a very corpulent
9:28	man who had been out hunting at noon he
9:30	came to the table for dinner as it was
9:33	the height of summer he was perspiring a
9:34	lot and asked for someone to call him
9:36	down with a fan the servants had all
9:39	left the room so he turned to avado lupi
9:41	the apostolic secretary to help him i'm
9:44	not sure how to help you said the
9:46	secretary
9:47	never mind said the cardinal just do
9:49	whatever you think will work
9:51	with that the secretary lifted his leg
9:53	and let out the most booming fart from
9:55	the very depths of his bowels saying
9:57	that is how i make a breeze for myself
10:00	everyone in attendance naturally fell
10:02	into fits of laughter
10:04	[Music]
10:06	hair today gone tomorrow
10:08	and this final joke was written by the
10:10	14th century belgium poet jean de cund a
10:14	game of truth was being played at court
10:15	by the queen and her entourage the queen
10:18	asks one of the knights have you
10:20	fathered any children to which he
10:22	replies i am afraid not
10:24	the queen nods in agreement and says
10:27	yes you do not look like the sort of man
10:29	that could please a woman when you hold
10:30	her naked in your arms your little beard
10:32	is just like the sort of fuzz that a
10:34	woman has in a private place and it is
10:36	easy to see from the condition of the
10:37	hay whether the pitchfork is any good
10:40	quickly the knight asks lady answer me
10:43	truthfully is there any hair between
10:45	your legs to which the queen answers
10:47	none at all
10:49	quickly the knight snaps back i believe
10:51	you four grass does not grow on a
10:53	well-beaten path
10:56	thank you for watching this episode of
10:57	medieval madness a little different from
10:59	my usual format so please let us know
11:01	below if you enjoyed it and leave a
11:03	comment with your favorite jokes i'd
11:04	love to read them medieval or otherwise
11:06	hope everyone has a fantastic week
11:08	cheers