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CBS Reveals Top 10 Couric Sign-Off Suggestions
http://www.scrappleface.com ^
| September 6, 2006
| by Scott Ott
Posted on 09/06/2006 10:04:50 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
(2006-09-06) Americans last night rushed to the aid of debutante CBS News anchor Katie Couric to help her develop a distinctive sign off for her evening newscast. According to a source at CBS, the network already has 10 hot candidates for what journalists consider the most important element of any TV news program.
The multimillionaire media veteran ended her premier show last night by asking the viewer to suggest a sign-off that would rival Walter Cronkites immortal phrase
and thats the way it is or Dan Rathers simple but profound word: Courage.
The plea for help from the viewer comes after months of research by the CBS News staff failed to turn up a suitable way to end the show that would convey the significance of this massive journalistic enterprise, the unnamed source said.
According to a leaked internal memo, here are the top 10 viewer-suggested Katie Couric sign-offs ranked according to frequency of suggestion:
10. Well, theres 22 minutes of your life you can never get back. 9. News pH balanced. We report. You admire. 8. I hope to see you tomorrow night, because all I see tonight is the TelePromTer. 7. Im Katie Couric, and thats the way it is at the DNC. 6. Thats the news and I mean it. Does anybody want a peanut? 5. Im Katie Couric and this is one sweet gig! 4. If you stand up for a few minutes now, you wont get so many sofa sores. 3. Now you know what to think. But you dont really have to. 2. Why read the news online when I get paid millions to do it for you? 1. What makes a muskrat guard its musk?
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: couric; humor; notnews; satire; scrappleface
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To: HHKrepublican_2
"SeeBS is BS'n you America"
21
posted on
09/06/2006 3:25:07 PM PDT
by
beyond the sea
(Face piles of trials with smiles, It riles them to believe that you perceive the web that they weave)
To: beyond the sea
"I made $59,000 and change today, and you didn't. I'm Katie Couric and I don't need Bush's tax cuts."
22
posted on
09/06/2006 3:28:44 PM PDT
by
Dog Gone
To: Lucky9teen
"Good night and a reminder to my Al Qaida friends: Check the New York Times for the latest secret plans."
23
posted on
09/06/2006 3:30:47 PM PDT
by
freedumb2003
(the war on poverty should include health club memberships for the morbidly poor)
To: A CA Guy
In that picture, it sure does look like she's talking out of the left side of her mouth, doesn't it?
24
posted on
09/06/2006 3:34:38 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
To: AxelPaulsenJr
"I'm perky Katie. We had Bush and you should to."make that Hate.
I like the first one better ;)
25
posted on
09/06/2006 3:36:27 PM PDT
by
freedumb2003
(the war on poverty should include health club memberships for the morbidly poor)
To: Lucky9teen
Approximately 3,000 yrs ago the below scripture was spoken...describes today's world perfectly...including Katie's crappy nightly news cast...[I could care less what her stupid sign off is]
Isa 59:4 None calleth for justice, nor any pleadeth for truth: they trust in vanity, and speak lies; they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity.
26
posted on
09/06/2006 3:37:16 PM PDT
by
shield
(A wise man's heart is at his RIGHT hand; but a fool's heart at his LEFT. Ecc 10:2)
To: TexasCajun
27
posted on
09/06/2006 3:39:29 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
To: shield
28
posted on
09/06/2006 3:41:47 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
To: Lucky9teen
29
posted on
09/06/2006 3:43:21 PM PDT
by
A CA Guy
(God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
To: Lucky9teen
Here's more to think about...could this be why they don't get it [Faith in Our Lord Jesus Christ]:
1Jo 4:5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.
1Jo 4:6 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us.
30
posted on
09/06/2006 3:45:46 PM PDT
by
shield
(A wise man's heart is at his RIGHT hand; but a fool's heart at his LEFT. Ecc 10:2)
To: shield
1Jo 4:5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.
1Jo 4:6 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us.
Thanks for the reminder.
31
posted on
09/06/2006 3:47:15 PM PDT
by
The Spirit Of Allegiance
(Public Employees: Honor Your Oaths! Defend the Constitution from Enemies--Foreign and Domestic!)
To: Lucky9teen; OccamsRazor
7. Im Katie Couric, and thats the way it is at the DNC. ....Well, Occam's' Razor, would have suggested, One should not increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything...How about "Simply the Truth, the Whole Truth."
32
posted on
09/06/2006 3:53:50 PM PDT
by
skinkinthegrass
(Just b/c your paranoid; Doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you. :^)
To: shield
It seems the "grey" area is not very grey anymore, but instead becoming either white or black.
I'm happy to say, I'm on the RIGHT side of the fence and I know where my pasture lies.
33
posted on
09/06/2006 3:59:56 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
Comment #34 Removed by Moderator
To: NYTexan
To: Lucky9teen
How about:
I'm Katie Couric and now you know why it's called SeeBS.
36
posted on
09/07/2006 5:22:40 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
((Kennedys - Can't drive, can't fly, can't ski, can't skipper a boat - But they know what's best.))
To: HHKrepublican_2
No, I made it up, but it fits, and it's easy to envision her saying it with a straight face.
37
posted on
09/07/2006 5:24:54 AM PDT
by
GreenAccord
(I just spell-checked MOONBAT. Shouldn't that be in the FR lexicon as a valid word?)
To: NYTexan
"That's the news and I'm outa beer"
38
posted on
09/07/2006 5:26:06 AM PDT
by
DungeonMaster
(More and more churches are nada scriptura.)
To: MrEdd
"I'm Katie Couric and I own more shoes than Imelda"
To: SeekingInfoAllTheTime
It makes me sick how they twist good news into bad, false, completely misinformation and worse that a lot of people believe that crap AND then they get away with it and NO ONE stops them or corrects their errors.
I like this one
Or how about, "I'm Katie Couric. Taliban Semper Fi."
40
posted on
09/07/2006 8:12:59 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
( If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.)
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