Skip to comments.
CBS Reveals Top 10 Couric Sign-Off Suggestions
http://www.scrappleface.com ^
| September 6, 2006
| by Scott Ott
Posted on 09/06/2006 10:04:50 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
(2006-09-06) Americans last night rushed to the aid of debutante CBS News anchor Katie Couric to help her develop a distinctive sign off for her evening newscast. According to a source at CBS, the network already has 10 hot candidates for what journalists consider the most important element of any TV news program.
The multimillionaire media veteran ended her premier show last night by asking the viewer to suggest a sign-off that would rival Walter Cronkites immortal phrase
and thats the way it is or Dan Rathers simple but profound word: Courage.
The plea for help from the viewer comes after months of research by the CBS News staff failed to turn up a suitable way to end the show that would convey the significance of this massive journalistic enterprise, the unnamed source said.
According to a leaked internal memo, here are the top 10 viewer-suggested Katie Couric sign-offs ranked according to frequency of suggestion:
10. Well, theres 22 minutes of your life you can never get back. 9. News pH balanced. We report. You admire. 8. I hope to see you tomorrow night, because all I see tonight is the TelePromTer. 7. Im Katie Couric, and thats the way it is at the DNC. 6. Thats the news and I mean it. Does anybody want a peanut? 5. Im Katie Couric and this is one sweet gig! 4. If you stand up for a few minutes now, you wont get so many sofa sores. 3. Now you know what to think. But you dont really have to. 2. Why read the news online when I get paid millions to do it for you? 1. What makes a muskrat guard its musk?
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: couric; humor; notnews; satire; scrappleface
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-42 next last
How about: We spin, you decipher.
To: Lucky9teen
Im Katie Couric, and thats the news; Believe It or Not.
To: Lucky9teen
And that's my party's talking points.
3
posted on
09/06/2006 10:12:12 AM PDT
by
SampleMan
To: Lucky9teen
4
posted on
09/06/2006 10:13:46 AM PDT
by
Gay State Conservative
("An empty limousine pulled up and Hillary Clinton got out")
To: Lucky9teen
5
posted on
09/06/2006 10:14:02 AM PDT
by
Lexington Green
(Peace Through Victory)
To: Lucky9teen
I could hear her say something like: 'I'm Katie Couric and that's how I see it.'
6
posted on
09/06/2006 10:15:15 AM PDT
by
GreenAccord
(I just spell-checked MOONBAT. Shouldn't that be in the FR lexicon as a valid word?)
To: Lucky9teen
To quote Dot Warner of 'Aminamiacs':
"It makes me feel all warm and squishy... I must need a diaper!"
Jack.
7
posted on
09/06/2006 10:15:18 AM PDT
by
Jack Deth
(Knight Errant and Disemboweler of the WFTD Thread)
To: Lucky9teen
I'm thinking about
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy when Will Ferrell slavishly reads his promper and
signs off by telling San Diego to go #%$^ themselves.
Then he gets up and walks past all the shocked crew, telling them it was the best broadcast oblivious of what he just read.
8
posted on
09/06/2006 11:18:13 AM PDT
by
sully777
(You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
To: Lucky9teen
katie is the female version
9
posted on
09/06/2006 12:32:02 PM PDT
by
llevrok
(When you take my gin from my cold, dead hand....)
To: Lucky9teen
"I'm perky Katie. We had Bush and you should to."
10
posted on
09/06/2006 12:34:23 PM PDT
by
AxelPaulsenJr
(Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.)
To: AxelPaulsenJr
11
posted on
09/06/2006 12:34:56 PM PDT
by
AxelPaulsenJr
(Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.)
To: Lucky9teen
10. Well, theres 22 minutes of your life you can never get back. I like that one!
12
posted on
09/06/2006 2:34:42 PM PDT
by
Recovering_Democrat
(I am SO glad to no longer be associated with the party of "dependence on government"!)
To: Lucky9teen; Fiddlstix; NorCalRepub; humblegunner; SZonian; ChandyB71; jonathanmo; half-cajun; ...
Pinging the usual suspects!
(courtesy of Humblegunner)
(anyone wanting on or off the satire ping list, let me know!)
13
posted on
09/06/2006 3:10:24 PM PDT
by
NYTexan
To: TexasCajun; Lucky9teen
"See you again tommorrow .......... this is Katie Couric ...... on your nerves."
14
posted on
09/06/2006 3:20:07 PM PDT
by
beyond the sea
(Face piles of trials with smiles, It riles them to believe that you perceive the web that they weave)
To: Lucky9teen
I'm Katie Couric
and you're not.
15
posted on
09/06/2006 3:20:54 PM PDT
by
MrEdd
(The easiest way to LIE with statistics is to use the average instead of the Median.)
To: GreenAccord
what was the actual sign off phrase?
To: AxelPaulsenJr
"I'm Katie. My legs are stronger than any Democrat's backbone."
17
posted on
09/06/2006 3:21:53 PM PDT
by
beyond the sea
(Face piles of trials with smiles, It riles them to believe that you perceive the web that they weave)
To: Lucky9teen
Ben Lurken had a good one.
18
posted on
09/06/2006 3:22:26 PM PDT
by
A CA Guy
(God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
To: NYTexan
19
posted on
09/06/2006 3:24:02 PM PDT
by
beyond the sea
(Face piles of trials with smiles, It riles them to believe that you perceive the web that they weave)
To: Lucky9teen
Here's the only thing she could do: "I'm Katie Couric, and now, our daily commentary by Rush Limbaugh."
Otherwise, I give her 2 years, max.
20
posted on
09/06/2006 3:24:02 PM PDT
by
AmishDude
(`[N]on-state actors' can project force around the world more easily than Canada". -- Mark Steyn)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-42 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson