"In an announcement today that shocked the planet, Roman Catholic Virgin Katie Holmes and her lover Tom Cruise said that their wedding may happen sooner than had previously been expected, due to a turn of completely unexpected events. "World," said Katie, teary-eyed, "we're pregnant." Tom immediately corrected her and said, "Actually, I had nothing to do with it." Then in a narrative which described the most shocking chapter of this couple's lives (if not of all of Show Business), Katie recalled how a shining angel came to her with the news. Tom jumped up and down as he told how...