Let me be among the first to call George Washington a goon - indeed Ben Franklin, Thomas Paine, and Samuel Adams were all celebrated goons of their time. Truly, their goonyism is an inspiration to all Americans. Let us also name the other goons who have made America great - the goons of yesteryear like Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower and John F. Kennedy. They were dedicated goons, one and all... And thanks to John Kerry, we can call every great American a goon! No, no, it's true - the new name for "patriot" is "goon". Let's break this...