U.S.—Women all over America have suddenly abandoned their feminist ideologies and are now advocating for traditional gender roles now that World War III has begun. They've quit jobs and, if single, have begun searching for a man to marry so they can have as many kids as possible as quickly as possible. "I don't know what we were thinking!" said Millie Walruscatcher of Los Angeles, CA. "I used to think being strong and independent was important but ever since I realized I might have to go and die in a war on foreign soil it's been a lot less appealing."...