This is probably the worst Friday night of my life - and that's saying something. I'm sat on a high stool at a small table, plasma screens are oozing sports programmes around my head and there is a grubby plastic menu in front of me that is littered with pictures of fast food. Not a green vegetable in sight, unless you count a deep fried chilli, coated in batter. There is the thump, thump, thump of awful music in the background, competing with the braying of table upon table of men: young men, old men, students, office workers, football supporters......