The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, a conglomeration of Lutheran denominations, had over five million members when it was launched in 1988, joining three independent Lutheran confessions with nearly 10,000 congregations and 65 synods. But now, in spite of the word “Evangelical,” this union is in decline. One of its churches, in Edina, Minnesota, throws a pagan sparkle into the deep meaning of “decline.”[1] This June, Anna Helgen, an LGBT Lutheran “minister,” stood in her Lutheran pulpit, dressed in pastoral robes, and recited what she called a “Sparkle Creed” as part of the church service. This liturgy was riddled with...