As America’s bureaucratic swamp is being drained by the fearless engineers of DOGE spearheaded by Elon Musk, one name rises above the rest: Edward “BIG BALLS” Coristine. Coristine, a brilliant coder, has been making waves in Washington. At just 19, he’s already worked at Neuralink, has been spotted within key government agencies, and recently secured a senior adviser role at the State Department’s Bureau of Diplomatic Technology—propelled by the media hysteria surrounding his moniker. The leftist media, desperate to smear him, has dug up his past, highlighting controversies and accusing him of rubbing elbows with hackers.