WASHINGTON, D.C. — Leftists are devastated this morning after the Supreme Court passed down a new ruling that will ban robbing those who didn't attend college to pay for the expensive and useless degrees of those who did. "If the useless poor can't pay for my $300,000 Diversity and Belonging Doctorate degree, what good are they?" said Dr. Mikayla Barnes, a local Starbucks shift manager. "What am I supposed to do now? Work more? I'm ruined!" Sources say this tragic ruling will adversely affect the lives of thousands of feminists who will no longer be able to afford blue hair...
