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I hope I won't get suspended for this vanity, but I just saw this on a T-shirt and wanted to share it.

A spokesman for Rudy Giuliani says the former New York City mayor is not interested in buying the Chicago Cubs and remains a diehard New York Yankees fan, according to a report in the Chicago Tribune. Giuliani's firm, Giuliani Partners, had reportedly been seeking to team up with former Cubs' star Ernie Banks and another investment firm to purchase the team. But according to Crain's Chicago Business, Banks met on May 23 with club executives by was rebuffed. An executive from Giuliani Capital Advisors had a meeting with Banks at Banks' request, according to Giuliani spokeswoman Sunny Mindel. She apparently...

Wow! Great night of fighting put on by the UFC in it's first show in California! Here are the results! RESULTS: - Thiago Alves defeated Derrek Noble by TKO at 2:54 of Rd.1 - Jason Lambert defeats Terry Martin by TKO at 2:37 of Rd.2 - David Terrell defeats Scott Smith by RNC at 3:08 of Rd.1 - Karo Parisyan defeats Nick Thompson by tap out to strikes at 4:44 Rd.1 - Jeff Monson defeats Pay De Pano Cruz by split decision - Evan Tanner defeats Justin Levens by triangle choke at 3:14 Rd.1 - Tito Ortiz defeated Forrest Griffin...

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Bob Barker pleaded with city officials to close the Los Angeles Zoo's pachyderm exhibit and allow its three elephants to retire to a sanctuary. Appearing jovial when he arrived at Friday's City Council meeting, the veteran game show host and longtime animal rights activist turned serious when he began to talk about the zoo's elephants, Gita, Ruby and Billy. "I came here today to ask, to beg you ... to vote to release those elephants from that zoo," Barker said. "They have lived in misery." Gita and Ruby are ill, leaving only Billy on display. A fourth elephant, Tara, died...

Gillette today announced that the new Gillette Fusion and Fusion(TM) Power shaving systems for men are now available in stores. The new razors offer breakthrough technologies, including a 5-blade Shaving Surface(TM) on the front of the blade cartridge and a Precision Trimmer(TM) blade on the back. The Shaving Surface distributes force across the blades, resulting in a smoother, more comfortable shave with less irritation. The Precision Trimmer, a single blade on the back of the shaving cartridge, makes it easier for men to shave hard-to-reach areas, including sideburns and under the nose. Consumer testing among hundreds of men revealed that...

In the months leading up to the Olympic games around 444 B.C., Ikkos of Tarentum, a legendary Pentathlon champion, began routine preparations for competition. He consumed large quantities of wild boar, cheese and goat meat. He hit the gymnasium to practice javelin throwing and long jumps. He coated himself in olive oil to make his rippled body gleam. But there was one thing that made Ikkos's training regimen, which Plato described in a dialogue around 347 B.C., particularly noteworthy: He gave up sex. Ikkos, who went on to win the Olympic Pentathlon, believed that abstinence before competition was essential for...

Maxine, Patty and Happy are in their mid-30s and likely to live a very long time. But someday, their deaths will precipitate the end of their habitat - the elephant exhibit at the Bronx Zoo. The three female Asian pachyderms are in good health, but the zoo will not replace them after they die, said Steve Sanderson, president of the Wildlife Conservation Society, which runs the Bronx Zoo. Once the Bronx Zoo closes its elephant exhibit - whenever that may be - New York City will be left with no pachyderm exhibits. The elephant exhibits at the Central Park and...

Some people watch the Super Bowl just for the commmercials. Are Stargate fans in for a treat this year! Former Stargate SG-1 leading man Richard Dean Anderson ("Jack O'Neill") is jumpstarting the rest of his career with a new commercial for MasterCard. At the end of December he shot the commercial for their "Priceless" campaign, which is now set to air during Super Bowl XL on Sunday, February 5. In the ad Anderson slides down a wire, drives a semi truck through a fence, and blows up a building -- then is found in a convenience store purchasing replacements for...

Kate Moss is likely to escape punishment for her drug taking sessions after finally facing police yesterday. The model was questioned four months after she was pictured snorting 'line after line' of cocaine at a recording studio last autumn. But according to police sources, she is unlikely even to be cautioned, leaving her without a criminal record and free to work wherever she wishes. This is despite admitting 'full responsibility' for her actions in a statement about the affair last year. Yesterday, Miss Moss, 32, ended her extraordinary 142- day exile from Britain to face a series of questions from...

Stargate SG-1: The Alliance, the long-awaited video game based on the hit sci-fi franchise, may be breathing its final breaths. Australian developer Perception PTY Ltd. layed off its staff and closed its doors Friday due to the lack of an approved publisher for the game, according to a report at Online Gamer. The decision came when the last of the company's money ran out, according to the report allegedly from a former employee, because licensor MGM would not approve a new publisher for the title. Neither Perception nor MGM have yet to make any official comment on the situation. "For...

How well do you know your dog? The answer is, not nearly as well as your dog knows you. Given the right incentives, humans can certainly be perceptive enough. But most dog lovers discover, sooner or later, that dogs have an alertness to the behavioral signs of their owners that humans rarely equal. And that's nothing. Scientists have recently discovered that dogs can distinguish, with almost unerring accuracy, between breath samples from people with lung cancer and from people without. The dogs have to be trained to do it, of course. But the fact that they can do it at...

For the man who has everything — or someone really desperate to find a last-minute gift — Joel Krupnik and Mildred Castellanos have an answer: Their red-suited Santa Claus figure, holding a bloody knife in one hand and a severed doll's head in the other, went up for auction on Christmas Day. Already, bidding had reached $200 and "might go higher, maybe even to $500," the New York Post quoted Krupnik as saying. Lest anyone be offended — and some people were — Krupnik had explained earlier that the macabre holiday display outside the couple's midtown Manhattan home was intended...

They finally got it online.

Sat, December 3, 2005 BARRIE -- A sex assault trial that hung on claims of a large penis was turned into a "cheap joke" by media coverage, a superior court judge said yesterday as she found the accused guilty. Justice Margaret Eberhard said she was disturbed after receiving calls "from afar" and was ribbed numerous times over the trial in which a man claimed he could not be guilty of rape because his penis is too big. "Whether I find him guilty or innocent -- he is publicly humiliated," she told court just before finding the man guilty. "Nowhere was...

I submit to you good people, what if Fitzgerald hands down no indictment? First, will the media perform a mea cupla, mea maximia cupla? Will the CIA get the house cleaning it needs? Will Joe Wilson finally shut up? Or will we hear the phrases, narrowly escaped, intense pressure from the White House, a deal was reached, from the MSM? You opinions leavened with humor, as you please.

President Bush has blundered badly with the nomination of Harriet Miers. It isn't just the profound split within the Republican Party that is damaging. The presidency itself is weaken because his judgement is now doubted within his own camp. The Democrats always doubted his judgement indeed his intellect. Now the same doubts are being expressed on the right. What is it about this nomination that can so undermine the presidency. The main problem with Ms. Miers' nomination can be summed up simply, she is a "weak sister". People respect bold action even when they don't agree with it. The Democrats...

TORONTO (Reuters) - Comedian Tommy Chong has spent almost three decades wringing laughs from cigar-sized joints and smoke-filled vans but now a nine-month jail term has turned him serious and revitalized his flagging career. Promoting his documentary "a/k/a Tommy Chong" at the Toronto International Film Festival, he hopes the film will expose what he says is the U.S. government's heavy-handed dealing with marijuana offenders in the post-September 11 era. "The United States is under martial law, it's under dictatorship," the 67-year-old father of four said in an interview. The film chronicles the Canadian-born comedian's 2003 arrest and imprisonment for selling...