Free Republic

Okay, my friends. For the last week or so, the media have gotten Americans all worked up into a froth about this "deadly new bacteria" called MRSA. My ER is now inundated with frantic phone calls from people who have no idea what they are looking at, or what the disease really is. One charming woman (who clearly smoked wayyyyyyyy too much) called amid the throes of a panic attack because she found a pimple and was convinced beyond all attempts to reason with her that she was "gonna die of Melissa." "Ah, you mean MRSA." I corrected the hyperventilating...

The Associated Press is now running a story that claims that Britney Spears may follow the path of world traveler Angelina Jolie over to the African nation of Namibia to give birth to her second child. However - a bit of sleuthing may shows that the AP may have been duped. The first "report" that Britney Spears was considering such a move came from the fine satire site "postcards from the pug bus."

Secluded Lake, CA - Saying that "the very survival of prom is at stake," Secluded Lake High School junior class president Chad Blackthorne vowed a clampdown on local Zombie militant factions that have claimed nearly one third of the student body in recent suicide forays on area lakeside cabins. The international press and diplomatic community were quick to condemn Blackthorne’s new hardline anti-Zombie position, warning that armed reprisals risked long-term peace prospects in the heavily-wooded region. “Blackthorne’s continued bellicosity will only conclude in more deaths, re-deaths and re-re-deaths,” said an editorial in London’s Guardian Thursday. “If the weekend dismemberment of...