<p>Porn is, in fact, icky bad gross blasphemous sacrilegious and totally comedogenic, and looks awful with the couch and never ever calls, and leaves the seat up, and never does the dishes, and Makes Mommy resentful and Timmy cry and Daddy spend 14 hours a day glued to assbuffet.com as he maxes out the family MasterCard on rubber-fetish DVDs and nipple clips. This much everyone knows.</p>