Humor (General/Chat)
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Fool's Ball Divisional Round! Your home for all things Fool's Ball! In Memoriam Danny Lee (BENDER2)
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DAVOS — While at the World Economic Forum, rightful President Al Gore delivered a stern warning on climate change, saying the world will not make it past the year 2012 if something isn't done immediately. "The situation has never been more dire," said Gore while wiping the lipstick of a Swiss hooker off his face. "It's more dire than it was yesterday, and more dire than it was the day before and even more dire than the day before that." Sources say the crowd began to fall asleep as he continued. "In fact, we have minus 11 years to fix...
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After a third batch of classified documents was found in President Biden’s home this weekend, Jimmy Fallon is thinking that the location of the annual White House Easter egg hunt might get changed this year. He’s also thinking that those kids may not be searching for eggs. On Saturday, it was reported that a third batch of documents was found, this time containing five documents. At this point, it remains unclear exactly what the documents pertained to, but Biden and his team maintain that they are cooperating fully with authorities as pages are found. So during his monologue on Monday...
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AUBURN, NY — Following the new tradition of erecting disturbing modern-art monuments for prominent historical figures, the city of Auburn has unveiled a bronze statue of abolitionist and Underground Railroad leader Harriet Tubman's left big toe. "We felt that this was a fitting tribute for the great Harriet Tubman," said Brandon Quezada, chairman of the city's Artistic Initiatives Committee. "Knowing that Boston was unveiling the unspeakably creepy ‘The Embrace' statue for Dr. Martin Luther King that bears a striking resemblance to various human organs mashed together in an ungodly chimeric abomination from the pit of hell, creating a monument depicting...
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Investigators found classified documents in President Biden's garage. No one really knows why it was there, including Biden. But the real story is all the other stuff they found. His garage was a veritable treasure trove of scandal! Here is the definitive list of items found in Biden's garage: 1.Obama's birth certificate 2.Private hair collection 3.180,000 Trump ballots 4.One of Hunter's hookers 5.Friendship bracelet from President Xi 6.My Patriot Supply buckets (go to preparewithbee.com for an exclusive deal) 7.The real Joe Biden tied up and gagged shouting, "Help! that guy's an imposter!" 8.Unused StairMaster 9.All the CIA's JFK documents 10.Jimmy...
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At an event on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Biden wanted to celebrate the birthday of MLK III's wife... and it went exactly like you'd expect 👇 VIDEOS AT LINK....................... Happy birthday dear, Valvey! Valvey? Valia? I have no clue what name he's trying to say here. But it's not Arndrea Waters King, the birthday girl's name. Only Joe Biden could see the name Arndrea and say "I'm gonna go with Valvaw!"
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· WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden has called on Americans to refrain from cooking with gas stoves for the next two weeks to help "flatten the curve". "It's real simple, folks," said President Biden. "These gas stoves have brought upon us a terrible pandemic of asthma, brain damage, and scurvy! Now folks, I still believe in America. I believe we can beat these stoves! And it starts with us coming together to flatten the curve of, you know, the thing! For just two weeks, America! Not a joke!" In addition to the two week ban on gas stoves, the...
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WASHINGTON, DC — The mood around the nation's capital was somber today after congressional leaders made the declaration that any member who refuses to bow down before the bust of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky would be thrown into a fiery furnace. "The installment of the official bust of the great President Zelensky is a great moment for our nation," said Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy to an assembly of reporters at the capitol building. "Any member of this body who will not comply with the edict to bow before it will suffer the consequences." Conservative voters were taken aback...
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MIAMI, Fla. [WFLA] — A Florida man is behind bars after he tried to rob a Publix in Miami with a stapler. Patrick Abbott, 31, entered the Publix on Biscayne Boulevard, gave an employee a note stating he had a gun, and told her to put money in a bag. After the employee read the note, she pretended to help one of her co-workers and called for help, according to NBC affiliate WFLA. Abbott left Publix empty-handed and was caught by Miami Police while throwing the note away. The gun he claimed to have turned out to be a black...
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Dead whales are appearing on the Eastern Shores near the offshore clean energy wind turbines. To turn a "Debbie Downer" situation into a "Win - Win" situation, mob boss and NJ Gov. Murphy and Acting Human NY Gov. Hokum, have have hired snake oil salesman and Global Warming Grifter Al Gore to turn the situation around. Al has petitioned and offered the International Whaling Commission financial incentives (bribes) to count the Eastern Shore dead whales against the whale quotas of Japan, China and the Alaskan natives. Each year those groups get a quota of whales to kill. They could easily...
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Critics lambasted Reiner as 'brainwashed' and 'irrelevant'. Conservatives on Twitter are up in arms after actor Rob Reiner praised President Biden as a "decent law abiding person" while slamming former President Donald Trump as a "pathologically lying criminal". Conservatives on Twitter are up in arms after actor Rob Reiner praised President Biden as a "decent law abiding person" while slamming former President Donald Trump as a "pathologically lying criminal."
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U.S. — After urging from environmental activists, the World Economic Forum, and Bill Nye the Science Guy, Arby's has changed its slogan to "We Have The Bugs." "We felt it was time for us to shed our archaic, meat-centric image and promote a more environmentally-friendly cuisine," said Samber Rothborg, the new Chief Diversity Officer for Arby's. "It's important that we acknowledge our shameful past while charting a course forward into a more sustainable future for all of us." Rothborg's eyes then glazed over and she seemed to shut down like an android. Arby's will now offer roast mealworms, roast crickets,...
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Underwear giant Victoria's Secret has been shaken by controversy because of its politically correct campaigns with obese feminists. Now the Swedish business has gone bankrupt, reports Ecommerce. The company Amarla Retail AB, which runs the Swedish company, has been hit with significant loss figures lately according to Ehandel. The stores in the Mall of Scandinavia, the Galleria in Stockholm and Femman in Gothenburg will be open for a while. Bankruptcy manager Lars Lundberg says the plan is to "try to keep the stores open and maintain sales as before, but now under the hat of the bankruptcy estate".
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A GRADUATED theater student's headshots were used for advertisements she never knew about. "Thinking about that one time, I didn't read the fine print on my headshots contract, and my photographer sold my pics to stock photo sites," she expressed. Christian moved her head to reveal a screenshot she took of her headshot being used for an R-rated book called "His Big, Childhood Sweetheart" by Samantha Drake. A girl Christian knew spotted her photo at a news stand first. A little while after, another photo of Christian was used on a billboard for breast reduction. And that same photo was...
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