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Congress Declares Any Member Who Refuses To Bow To The Bust Of Zelensky Will Be Thrown Into A Fiery Furnace
The Babylon Bee ^ | January 14, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/16/2023 8:47:41 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

WASHINGTON, DC — The mood around the nation's capital was somber today after congressional leaders made the declaration that any member who refuses to bow down before the bust of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky would be thrown into a fiery furnace.

"The installment of the official bust of the great President Zelensky is a great moment for our nation," said Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy to an assembly of reporters at the capitol building. "Any member of this body who will not comply with the edict to bow before it will suffer the consequences."

Conservative voters were taken aback when South Carolina Republican Congressman Joe Wilson presented legislation to place a permanent bust in a prominent location in the Capitol. "I think some of these members of Congress must have attended a few too many cocaine orgies," said concerned citizen Sal Belfonte. "Placing a bust of a Ukrainian president in the U.S. Capitol could only seem like a good idea if you're really, really high."

Rumors spread that Congress was seeking to appease Zelensky with the bust after he submitted yet another request for more funding for Ukraine's war against Russia. "We're actually running out of money to give him," said one lawmaker under the condition of anonymity. "Unless we raise taxes and bring in more from our citizens, we don't have much more to offer him."

At publishing time, leaders of both houses of Congress had given orders to heat the U.S. Capitol's fiery furnace seven times hotter in preparation for executing any dissenting lawmakers.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Humor; Miscellaneous; Religion; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bible; bust; capitol; congress; daniel; fieryfurnace; joewilson; mccarthy; satire; ukraine; zelensky; zelenskyyyy

1 posted on 01/16/2023 8:47:41 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

2 posted on 01/16/2023 8:55:22 PM PST by WeaslesRippedMyFlesh (wake me up when somebody tells the truth)
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To: WeaslesRippedMyFlesh

Heh! Good one.


3 posted on 01/16/2023 8:59:04 PM PST by Allegra
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

They said this was the line to the showers, right? It’s kinda dark in here.


4 posted on 01/16/2023 9:08:21 PM PST by SaxxonWoods (The only way to secure your own future is to create it yourself. 111 is the key.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

🤣🤣🤣 or kiss the a$$ of the bust


5 posted on 01/16/2023 9:08:55 PM PST by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Too bad both Putin and Zelenskyy can’t swing from the same scaffold, as far as I’m concerned. (Yeah, lots of others could join the show…)


6 posted on 01/16/2023 9:23:43 PM PST by datura (Eventually, the Lord and the Truth will win.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Is the bust if him in bondage gear or a sweatshirt? This has to be a deciding factor for some congress critters.


7 posted on 01/16/2023 9:24:51 PM PST by Durus (You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. Ayn Rand)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
So this Zelinsky dude starred in popular TV show called "Servant of the People" where he is an everyman fed up with government corruption, and due to a viral YouTube video, becomes the President of Ukraine.

It ran from 2015 to 2019, which by "pure coincidence" ended just before running and winning the Presidency of Ukraine, which consisted of YouTube videos against government corruption.

Perfectly plausible to me.

8 posted on 01/16/2023 9:33:28 PM PST by SecondAmendment (This just proves my latest theory ... LEFTISTS RUIN EVERYTHING !!!ss)
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To: datura

+1


9 posted on 01/16/2023 9:40:29 PM PST by Nervous Tick (Truth is not hate speech.)
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To: Durus
Is the bust if him in bondage gear or a sweatshirt?

Sweatshirt, most likely. Maybe they can include the missus too.


10 posted on 01/16/2023 9:45:45 PM PST by Nervous Tick (Truth is not hate speech.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Congress already had that rule for Pelozi’s bust.


11 posted on 01/16/2023 10:37:18 PM PST by TigersEye (The Democrat Party is criminal, unAmerican and illegitimate )
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To: WeaslesRippedMyFlesh

Note that NONE of the Ukraine Cheerleaders seem bothered by the DNC Money-Laundering link of Zelensky. They just ‘conveniently’ ignore that aspect.

It’s almost like they’re not really conservatives, but instead people who are occasionally activated for a single issue and won’t talk about anything bad regarding that issue.


12 posted on 01/16/2023 10:52:44 PM PST by BobL
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

California...drugs... Zelensky probably doesn’t want any statue resembling him to be made, but he probably won’t say anything about it, either.


13 posted on 01/16/2023 11:16:10 PM PST by familyop ("For they that sleep with dogs, shall rise with fleas" (John Webster, "The White Devil" 1612).)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

14 posted on 01/16/2023 11:26:48 PM PST by McGruff (Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up - Barack Obama)
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To: datura
This has been one of several conflicts, past an present, for which my wish has been that both sides could lose.
15 posted on 01/16/2023 11:33:44 PM PST by ExGeeEye (For dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.)
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To: TigersEye

Why just a Bust? More Like a heroic statue—bigger than the MLK statue—with Mr. Z holding out his hand in a blessing? Maybe covered in Gold? Americans can sacrifice their sons and daughters to it—and will as soldiers to defend Ukraine to the death from evil Putinistas.


16 posted on 01/17/2023 6:30:34 AM PST by Forward the Light Brigade ( Ride to the sound of the Guns!)
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To: BobL
They are into Biden Worship. Until Biden said “ Ukraine must be defended” They were mute. He said that and in one accord they rose up like trained seals, echoed what Biden said with millions of their voices. Their sole and only concern is that Biden continue to receive his dirty blood money. They give not one damn that we are being invaded at our Southern Border. And they give not one crap about the narcotic drugs that are being smuggled across the border to be sold to children in the U.S.A. Also the poor souls that are smuggled across the border to be trafficked in dingy abounded motel room concern them not one whit. The only thing in the World that concerns them is that Joe Biden continues to receive his dirty blood money. And to accomplish this, they are willing to sacrifice every human being on the face of the Earth............... Except them.
17 posted on 01/17/2023 6:50:59 AM PST by sport
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To: sport

“They are into Biden Worship. Until Biden said “ Ukraine must be defended” They were mute. He said that and in one accord they rose up like trained seals, echoed what Biden said with millions of their voices”

Well stated, and it was no different for Syria, Serbia, and likely other stupid US adventures. But the thing about this one is that we’ll be a Third World country by the time everything shakes out, not in 20 or 30 years as was the case prior to Ukraine, but 5 years, or less.


18 posted on 01/17/2023 7:21:57 AM PST by BobL
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Babylon Bee, it was funny, but not as good as some...


19 posted on 01/17/2023 10:03:31 AM PST by Deplorable American1776 (Defund the FBI, the American Stasi.. Hello 2023, can we get over 2020 yet? )
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