CHICAGO, IL — After suffering a humiliating defeat in Chicago's mayoral election, Lori Lightfoot blamed her stunning loss on "those tricksy hobbitses." "They stole it from us!!" wailed Ms. Lightfoot. "Nasty, tricksy little hobbitses!!" The campaign watched the disastrous results come in from a dimly lit sushi restaurant, where the enraged Ms. Lightfoot gorged herself on juicy-sweet raw fish. "Gone!! It's gone, precious!!" cried Ms. Lightfoot to supporters. "Filthy, sneaky hobbitses!! Wicked, tricky, false! Curse them! CURSE THEM!!!" Long considered the electoral frontrunner, Ms. Lightfoot saw her lead evaporate as supporters became steadily more concerned about being murdered. "I...