Last month, Sen. Ted Cruz, the Texas Republican, became one of the first major candidates in the marathon slog that is our modern presidential election cycle. Usually, when I want to see people get hit while running an obstacle course, I binge-watch Wipeout, the popular ABC show. But as anyone on social media is certainly well aware, there is no escaping our country’s least-enjoyable reality show: America’s Next Top Presidential Candidate (until the Next One, and the Next One, and the One After That). This year, my election fatigue is already so bad, I won’t even watch political gaffes on...