I am offering a breakthrough idea of magnificent proportions. Fat Offsets! No longer do you have to suffer from obesity. No longer do you have to hear jokes about love handles, padunkadunk butts, or other comments or phrases having the word "lard" in it. How does this work, you say? Well, you can buy "Fat Offsets." What does this mean? Offset means “neutralize,” “balance,” or “cancel out.” When we do certain activities like gorge our guts, stuff our faces or eat till our eyes bulge out we produce large amounts of Fat, or Adipose Tissue. Fat offsets counteract these activities...