Free Republic

Dear Senator kerry: At yesterday's meeting of the Lagniappe Wednesday Club at Daryl's Bait Shop, I and Jack Boudreau and Armen Yazoo were deputized to send you one more letter concerning your campaign. We are asking you to clarify some matters that have struck us as being untidy as an old boot in a pot of crawfish gumbo. We are still waiting for you personally to take on the task of answering the charges of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. These are serious matters and they won't go away, leastaways not from the minds of average people like us...

E-mail to Candidate Kerry #16 From: James (Cooter) Thompson re: Tactics and Strategy Dear Senator kerry: Cooter here, just back from a stimulating session down to Daryl's Bait Shop and Internet Café, the regular monthly meeting of the Lagniappe Wednesday Club. Ol' Daryl himself is President and keeps things moving right along, fine as frog fur. Mostly, we chew the fat over local matters of interest, but we recently been spending a quantity of time on the election campaign. We have seen reports you took 90 minutes of advice from former President Clinton from his hospital room a few hours...

E-mail to Candidate Kerry #13 From: James (Cooter) Thompson re: Testimony Dear Senator Kerry: Where you been this past week, Senator Kerry? None of us guys down to Daryl's Bait Shop have seen hide nor hair of you. We are bound in good conscience to tell you it ain't doing your campaign one damn bit of good. It's like this. We are reasonable people, in the main. We have some experience of this world. When we sit on juries, we expect a defendant to testify in his own defense. Yes, the lawyers and the judge can caution us that the...

E-mail to Candidate Kerry #10 From James (Cooter) Thompson re: Campaign Strategy and Tactics Dear Senator kerry: Cooter Thompson here, Senator, writing to you again on behalf of the folks down to Daryl's Bait Shop. We think we can do you a world of good by pointing out certain matters of strategy and tactics we've been observing on TV and the Internet. Senator, you really missed the boat—the dock, too—the way you handled the Sandy Berger adventure. Sandy was caught stuffing his pants and his briefcase with topmost secret classified documents from the National Archive. There is no chance of...

E-mail to Candidate Kerry #8 From James (Cooter) Thompson re: Military Matters Dear Senator Kerry: I'm bound to tell you, Senator, that me and Boudreau and pretty near all of us guys down to Daryl's Bait Shop think your campaign could do with a quantity of change. As we wrote previously, even your friends been complaining that your message ain't getting out. That of course brings up the matter of what message you have got for America, beyond the obvious, Elect Me! We Daryl's Baitmen do not regard Elect Me to be persuasive. We are not much concerned with itty-bitty...