WASHINGTON, D.C. — To avoid fighting over further spending bills, Congress has opted instead to sign up for the brand new subscription service Ukraine+, which only costs $40 billion per month. "We are proud to be the very first customers for this exciting new service," said Congressman Dan Crenshaw. "Henceforth, $40 billion US dollars will simply be automatically deducted from our account every month, allowing us to continue laundering money and paying off defense lobbyists in perpetuity. Thanks, Ukraine+!" Experts say subscribing to Ukraine+ is absolutely essential in order to "save democracy or whatever." Studies also confirmed that if anyone...