If I hear "Frosty the Snowman" one more time, I'll rip his frozen face off. It's a scientific fact, or should be, that Christmas music can turn you into a fruitcake. It either sends you into a Pavlovian shopping trance, buying stupid things like the Robosapien, or, if you hear repeated Clockwork-Orange choruses of "Ring, Christmas Bells" drilling into your brain with that slasher-movie staccato, makes you feel as possessed with Christmas spirit as Norman Bates. I've never said this out loud before, but I can't stand Christmas. Everyone in my family loves it except me, and they can't fathom...
