Free Republic

PASADENA, CA — While out with friends, local man Kevin Bann put up a valiant effort to feign enjoyment of an orange watery substance with little slimy balls floating in it. His friends have confirmed he is "very cool" and "with the times." "It's more the aesthetic, not the taste…but I do like the taste!" Mr. Bann hastened to clarify his enjoyment of the tea when he sensed raised eyebrows from his friends. Sources have confirmed that Mr. Bann stumbled over himself protesting his enjoyment, adding "of course, I like slimy little balls of food in my drinks!" Some outlets...

One of the sweetest ladies I know asked me a question the other day that had been bothering her for a very long time. It was one of those questions that you don’t exactly know how to ask—much less, who to ask.“I’ve been noticing something at daily Mass,” she began very timidly, as sweet older ladies do. “And it only happens at daily Mass,” she explained, “when we drink from the priest’s chalice.”“I know Father doesn’t mean to, and I don’t blame him. I’m sure it’s only an accident, you see.” She hesitated getting to her main point.“There’s always a...

A Stafford County teenager is paying a stiff price for spitting into a customer's drink at a fast-food restaurant last month. Shaleesheya G. Ford, 18, was ordered to serve six months in jail after pleading guilty to three misdemeanors Thursday in Stafford General District Court. Ford, a high school junior, was also ordered to not work in the food industry for three years and to stay off all Taco Bell properties statewide for the same period. Ford pleaded guilty to assault and battery, obstruction of justice and filing a false police report. She was taken to the Rappahannock Regional Jail...