In the Navy, you can sail the seven seas The future USS Portland is already in the water, but it has yet to be commissioned. The ceremony to do so was scheduled to be held in Pascagoula, Mississippi at the end of May, but then the state decided to put its hatred, its bigotry, and its antiquated notions about the 1st Amendment on display. Since we’re a hyper-sensitive society that subsists on faux-outrage, we can’t tolerate any of that “religious freedom” nonsense. Super-important dignitaries refused to attend, so the Navy has determined that the christening simply had to be moved.