Accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world. ==================================================== Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" ============================================================ "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" ============= ========================================= From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f... ing bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"...