<p>Red Alert to Sierra Clubbers, bearded Birkenstockers and other greenies: Under no circumstances be duped into attending the (mildly oxymoronic) Greater North American International Automobile Show now under way here.</p>
<p>Utopians might expect that the auto makers will offer countless octane-stingy hybrids and zero-emission fuel-cell vehicles to a public seeking to wean itself from all addiction to the cursed internal combustion engine. Sadly, this is not the case. Tree-huggers and Friends of the Earth would be better advised to picnic on the banks of the Love Canal than to set foot in the vast precincts of Detroit's Cobo Hall--where, last Friday evening, the auto show kicked off with the world's largest charity ball. Seventeen thousand of the industry's closest friends pitched in $400 apiece for a champagne-soaked, black-tie gala that might have been confused with a world convention of maitre d's and cocktail-lounge hostesses.</p>