Posted on 08/14/2004 8:09:00 PM PDT by LNewman
The Mudville Gazette is pleased to announce the First Annual John Kerry Fan Fiction Contest. Entries may be submitted in comments, via e-mail (greyhawk - at - mudvillegazette.com) or as entries on your own blog - I'll link from here. Have at it. Have fun.
Speaking of fun, in reality, back during Christmas '68 I was almost seven, and mom and dad gave me my first shotgun. To this day it's seared in my memory - crawling on my belly through the rice paddies in the Cambodian fever swamp, hunting the elusive Khmer deer...
(Excerpt) Read more at mudvillegazette.com ...
bump
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Great stuff
Do they really want some stories?? I might be able to think something up.
Interesting. Might be time to dust off some of my old "The Munsters" fanfics ...
hilarious.....
A must read!
LMAO!
Sneak preview and one of my many personal favorites reads:
There we were in enemy territory, on the Mekong Delta, which ran the border between Vietnam, Cambodia, USSR, Nazi Germany, and the Ottoman Empire. The most heavily defended water way in history, defended by suicidal islamofacists carring RPG-suitcase nukes laced with Anthrax. The mission was top secret, from Abraham Lincoln himself: "Find and destroy Ho Chi Min, Osama Bin Laden, and Adolf Hitler". It was Christmas Day and George W Bush had already told the American people that there were no troops in this part of the world, and yet here i was, alone on a solitary suicidal mission. My equipment included my snowboard, guitar, a bottle of Heinz, global warming, a tax raise, and my green hat that i found in the 'lost and found'....the memory of that day is seared in my mind that i would never forget it. Anyways the details of the mission is kinda fuzzy and i might or might not of been there
Posted by: Kenny at August 12, 2004 06:27 PM
Frenchurian dweeb
Is it possible to look
More dorky each week?
(From the linked article,I had to share it)
They ate in silence, rarely looking up from their food. The young El-Tee felt shame; his love for the agent, whose name he did not know, who's mission he could not know, was as endless as it was unrequited.
"I like your hat" he said. And regretted it immediately. Man, he thought, did that sound as desperate to him as it sounded to me?
The agent grunted. It' was one of the things he found irresistable about him. "Gimme that ketchup, huh?" He said, motioning to the small plastic bottle.
"Sure" he replied, moving a little too eagerly to comply with the request. "Anything you want, just ask..."
"This'll do" the agent said, taking the ketchup. Their fingertips topuched; to the El-tee it was like a brief spark, like running his tongue across the top of a 9-volt battery. He tried for eye contact but got nothing for his efforts. "You like ketchup, huh? I can't stand that stuff myself."
"Whatever" the agent said, and began eating. "Worst Christmas ever." he said around a mouthfull of snake meat. meat.
"Yea" said the El-tee. "Me too." He looked at his hands. "Crap" he muttered, "got ketchup on my sleeve." The agent remained silent. "That's how I got my first purple heart you know." he added, smiling. The agent gave him a look - the look you give a dead animal suddenly found in your path. "Kidding" he added quickly.
Silence roared between them until he finally got up the nerve. "I got you a gift." He said, and he produced the wrapped box.
"Is this a joke?" Was the response, but he took the box and ripped the paper off. He opened it and lifted the watch.
"It's a real Rolex. I picked it up in Saigon."
The CIA man was creeped out, but he knew he could hock the watch for 10 bucks, probably to the same crook that sold it to the squid. "Uh, thanks, I guess. But I didn't get you nothin'..."
"It's okay..." he said, but his voice cracked.
"Wait" the guy said "here, take the hat."
The LT stared, his jaw agape, at the most beautiful blonde flat top he'd ever laid eyes on...
I "stole" your quote
This is going on internet boards now. LOL
First Annual John Kerry Fan Fiction Contest
http://www.mudvillegazette.com/archives/001152.html
The Mudville Gazette is pleased to announce the First Annual John Kerry Fan Fiction Contest. Entries may be submitted in comments, via e-mail (greyhawk - at - mudvillegazette.com) or as entries on your own blog - I'll link from here. Have at it. Have fun.
Speaking of fun, in reality, back during Christmas '68 I was almost seven, and mom and dad gave me my first shotgun. To this day it's seared in my memory - crawling on my belly through the rice paddies in the Cambodian fever swamp, hunting the elusive Khmer deer...
HELP IS ON THE WAY
By D.K. Summers
TAMPA, Fl.
Denizens of the Sunshine State breathed a little easier knowing that Democratic nominee John Kerry would arrive off the Florida coast early this afternoon to head off "Charley" before he hit the mainland.
"Thank God someone is willing to take the fight to the hurricane, before it hits us here at home," said Emma Mae Dubrock, 56.
Advisers said that when Kerry heard that "Charley" would hit the U.S. this weekend, instinct took over.
"He was on the phone instantly. He contacted the living members of his swift boat crew, and before we knew it, they had taken off," Stephanie Cutter said.
"That man is the real deal," she added.
Other Kerry advisers were less enthusiastic about his trip.
"I thought he was just milking that whole Vietnam swift boat stuff to get elected; but it looks like he may very well be suffering some post-tramatic thing. What's he going to do when he realizes he's navigating himself into a hurricane?"
Thought youd like it! L0L but its not my quote
Some funny stories! Thanks!
Oh I see it there! L0L feel free!
Check out these hilarious stories!
It's a great quote!
"Oh I see! He states the story publicaly 53 times over 35 years
and all he has to do is "modify" the story to make it all go away"
http://www.mudvillegazette.com/archives/001152.html
Kerry was a warrior
From the land of the morning brunch,
With his Thompson gun for hire,
Prosciutto and shrimp for lunch.
The deal was made in Cape Cod
On a dark and stormy night,
So he set out for Cambodia
To join the bloody fight.
In Christmas '68, he fought the Viet Cong
With his finger on the trigger,
Or maybe on a bong?
For days and nights he battled
The Khmer to their knees,
He killed to pad his resume
Of his Service, Vietnamese.
Kerry the Thompson Gunner
Kerry the Thompson Gunner
His comrades fought beside him,
Van Owen and the rest,
But of all the Thompson gunners,
Kerry was the best,
So the CIA decided to reward all of that,
That son of a bitch Van Owen gave Kerry his hat.
Kerry the Hatted Thompson Gunner,
Hyannisport's favorite son,
They can still see his Lurch-like body
Stalking through the night,
In the muzzle flash of Kerry's Thompson gun,
In the muzzle flash of Kerry's Thompson gun.
Kerry searched the continent
For the man who'd doffed his brim,
He found him in Hue City,
In a barroom drinking gin.
Kerry raised his attache,
He showed the secret stash,
And he bored Van Owen shitless
With stories vain and brash.
Kerry the Hatted Thompson Gunner,
Talkin' about the man.
The eternal Thompson Gunner,
Still boring us to tears,
With tales of Vietnam,
Embellished o'er the years.
From firefights to spooky ops,
Purple Hearts for tick biiiiiiiites,
Howard Dean, screamed his scream,
And Kerry's Thompson gun was on us.
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